If you want to make sure any son of yours is attractive to the opposite sex later in life work hard from day one on nurturing his GSOH. That's Good Sense Of Humour for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of finding your mate via online dating (there aren't many of you left now, I'm sure). Oh, and make sure he cares about the environment. Girls go crazy for those funny and sensitive (FAS?) types, so why not invest in developing those qualities now?
It's too late to change the colour of his eyes, his height, the size of his manhood and other stuff women get particular about even if they don't admit it - those are in the blueprint from conception. But you can help your little fella out by teaching him early on what's funny, and why it's important to look after the planet.
The great news is you don't have to wait until your boy can walk and talk to get going on your mission. I've found this fantastic little clothing company called Little Green Radicals, and amongst other things they sell ever so good, fairly traded, organic cotton babygros, with cutely funny planet-friendly slogans on the front. Look at this one here - "Give Peas A Chance" - aww, who could resist? It's a toss-up between that one and "Stop The Wailing"
They cost £14, and for those of you wondering why on earth anyone would pay £14 for a babygro, well, the earth is exactly the reason. Organic cotton is pesticide and petrochemical-free, and as such is far kinder to the environment to grow than ordinary cotton, plus its infinitely less harmful to the cotton farmers, and potentially your baby too.
And if that's not seductive enough, just remember that you're very likely to be someone's mother-in-law in 30 years' time. Wouldn't it be nice to make sure she's one of those lovely types that go gooey for Mr Funny & Sensitive?
Little Green Radicals unisex organic playsuits are available in three sizes, 0-3months, 3-6months and 6-12months