ParentDish has a new member of the team! Stuart Dredge, father of two, will be bringing us a regular column -- and talking about all the important Dad stuff we need to know about.
Show me a man who says he's not trying to indoctrinate his kids with his music tastes, and I'll show you a liar. Unless he genuinely can't get enough of The Wiggles, which doesn't bear thinking about.
It's a Dad thing, which starts when your offspring is still in the womb, and you're overriding your partner's desire for relaxing classical or ambient music in favour of blasting the unborn tyke with the Nuggets box-set, Blur's early B-sides, or bleeding-edge dubstep white-labels. Start as you mean to go on, and all that.
But it's when you have a toddler that the impulse kicks in with a vengeance. If they can walk, they can dance. And if they can dance, they really should be dancing to your tune(s), right?That said, it's debatable who's manipulating who here: I'm fairly sure my two-year-old has twigged that 20 seconds frugging when Kasabian come on 6Music will add unassailable weight to his demand for a biscuit a few minutes later.
Even so, dads cherish the notion that we're instilling the 'right' musical values in our kids. We know what bands are cool, and it's our job to pass it on. Just like our fathers di... Oh.
That's the moment when reality hits home. Our dads did exactly the same thing, and as soon as we were old enough to take independent decisions, we independently decided they were utterly clueless on the music front.
Dads bought the Bonnie & Meatloaf double album, made millionaires of Dire Straits, and salivated openly over Tina Turner's "great legs". By the time my son is forming his own musical opinions, Kasabian will be the 2010s equivalent to Bonnie & Meatloaf. Except with dodgier hair.
Musical indoctrination is doomed to failure, however cool you are (or think you are). You might as well accept it and buy the new Wiggles album. I hear they've gone dubstep.