What happens when you're 37, almost infertile, in a new relationship and you go and get pregnant by accident?
Find out in Sarah Powell's popular weekly column: Up the Duff Without a Paddle.
The baby is upside down. Well, in walking and talking human terms it's the right way up, but in unborn baby terms it's the wrong way around.
I had a midwife appointment this week, and all was going swimmingly well. Blood pressure fine, size of fundus (isn't that just the most horrid word?) normal, weeing on stick all good. I'm still amazed I manage to direct a wee onto a strip of paper half the width of my little finger nail.
When it came to squidging around to check the position, all proceeded well too. I had thought the baby was lying across, horizontally, but what did I know? Turns out, from the first feel, that the baby's head was already engaged, and sitting quite low into my pelvis.
Result, we all thought. We've got an early starter - ace!
But oh no, another few squidges later, and the midwife changes her mind. She thinks the head is high up, and it's the bum in my pelvis, as my partner said afterwards, stuck like it's sitting in a bucket. What I thought was the back arching was in fact the limbs. The baby is sitting just as it might if it was born and sitting on my lap looking at the person to my left, while pretending to play the drums.
So, breech. That was so unexpected I've even had to look up how to spell it. Apparently there is still loads of time and a bit of space left for the baby to move right around, and I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to that. Let's hope it's in the middle of the night when I'm bored of sleeping anyway. Pah, who needs sleep?
Already I've had various words of wisdom from friends and family, even though we all know the position could have changed by now already. Home birth, our initial plan, is definitely considered a no-no, I can expect the pain to be worse and the labour to be harder, and as for a natural delivery, do I really want to strangle the baby with the umbilical cord?
The answer to that last one is clearly a no, and so if it stays breech, and I can't face that rugby tackle external manipulation thing they can do, it's likely I'll go for a C-section, in hospital (too messy for my front room).
But C-section seems to generate as much negative press. It's major surgery, it's not the natural way, sometimes the drugs don't work and you feel everything, it will be harder to have a natural birth the second time around, you can't hoover for six weeks. Can't hoover for six weeks? I should have had one years ago.
The plan now is to check the position again at 36 weeks and if we're at all unsure we can have another scan. Part of me is tempted by the C-section. Don't hate me for it, but I'm the kind of girl who quite likes the idea of having an appointment to have the baby, rather than be surprised, and heck, surely it has to be less painful.
So, this week, please do share any breech baby experiences with me. Anyone delivered a breech baby naturally? C-sections - are they ok? How likely is the baby to turn again at this point? I really do appreciate all of your comments, and read them all.