Dilemma Of The Day: He's Not Interested In Baby

26/11/2009 15:26 | Updated 22 May 2015

Father looking at sonQ: My husband just isn't interested in our new baby. He doesn't seem to love her as much as I do. He'd rather watch the football than change her nappy or play with her. It's upsetting me because we both wanted to have a baby but now he seems bored of her already! Should I challenge him about this now – or wait and see if he shows more interest as she gets older?

A: Sometimes dads can take a bit longer to bond with their babies than mums.

You have been carrying your daughter for nine months; you might already feel that you know her well and have a real connection.

Plus you're filled with hormones after giving birth. They can fill you with strong emotions, both good and bad. For your husband, a real live baby - even though he expected one of course, could be more of a surprise.

Dads can feel a little lonely or even jealous when their partner is suddenly in a 'new couple' with a baby. If you are breastfeeding, why not all cuddle up together when your husband is at home so that he doesn't feel pushed out.

If you think that he's not pulling his weight you must let him know that you need help. A new baby is hard work and you can't be expected to manage alone. He could be feeling that there isn't much for him to do.

I don't want to sound like you have to mother your husband as well as your new baby, but maybe you could give him a job each day.

Perhaps getting your daughter dressed for bed, or if she is bottle fed he could feed her in the evenings. That would have the added bonus of allowing you to have a bit of a rest too!

Some dads do say that they didn't properly bond with their babies until they were a few months older. Once your baby can sit up, smile, laugh, and generally interact more with her dad I'm sure she'll charm him the way she's charmed you.

Does your partner show a lack of interest in baby? How did you tackle the problem? Leave a comment below...

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