It's that time of year again, the time when we add to the stress and guilt that is being a parent and try to set unachievable goals for ourselves. Yes, it's time to make our New Year resolutions.
And, being a new mum, there are probably loads of new goals you would love to aim for. Like getting more sleep. Or finishing a sentence before Mummy Fog descends.
Unfortunately we don't have a magic wand but we do have a list of resolutions to help you pick yours.
Wear your badges with pride.
Forget about beating yourself up over the permanent patch of baby sick on your left shoulder. Wear it with pride. After all, you've earned it. Didn't that particular burp take 20 minutes of back rubbing to bring up at 4am? Exactly.
Invest in insulated mugs.
You know, the sort you take camping that keep your hot drink warm for hours. Actually, invest in lots. One for the buggy, one for the kitchen, the living room, upstairs. It's the only way you'll get to actually drink a warm cup of tea for quite a long time.
Ditch the celebrity magazines.
Yes, go on. I know it's the only chance you get to read but really, do you need to see Heidi Klum looking as if she never gave birth once let alone four times? No, thought not.
Find a favourite coffee shop.
This is, in my opinion, essential. Sometimes you need to get out of the house and it can be too cold or, dare I say it, a tad boring going for another walk. Especially if the baby is snoozing and you've done this route ten times already this week. Coffee shops are warm, they have cake and, best of all, you can meet other, equally sleep deprived mums in a stress-free zone. But only drink decaf, you don't want the baby up all night.
Learn to love dust.
I can't see the point in dusting; 20 minutes after you're finished, it looks exactly the same as before. Still feel the need to flick a duster around? Try to resist and do something much more enjoyable like blowing raspberries on baby's tummy. Or napping. Mother-in-law not impressed? Tell her you're on strict orders (my orders, actually), and point her in the direction of the cleaning cupboard.
Practise smiling sweetly in the mirror.
Go on, have a go now. We'll wait. Better? Have you got a sweet smile perfected? Because you'll need it. No matter how pink you dress your baby girl or how boyish your little man looks, even with his curls, someone will mistake them for being the opposite sex. Actually not someone but people. Lots of them lots of times. And smiling sweetly is better than gritting your teeth and snarling at them.
I know it's a fine line between laughing and crying, especially when you've just tripped over the cat and spilt milk all down your only clean top but trust me, laughing will give you better lines on your face. Plus you won't want your little one, when she goes to school, drawing pictures of mummy with wiggly lines on her head and a shouty mouth. No you won't.
Got any resolutions for 2010? Or is your only resolution not to have any? Mine too.