So, I wrote here about 'me time' and the importance of it. But for the past ten days, I've had an altogether different version of 'me time' to deal with.
My son has been away on holiday with his dad, and far from enjoying the break, I have been bereft. They have been in France, at a resort we have traditionally visited as a family. Last year I went with them. I wrote about what happened here.
This year, I thought it would be good for my little boy to have some time on his own with his dad. And I thought I would relish an extended period of 'free' time.
But I didn't quite realise how much I would miss him. It is one thing having a few days away on my own knowing I am only an hour or so drive away. It is entirely different him being in a different country for almost a fortnight.
I missed him from the second I dropped him off at the airport. For the first time in seven years, I had the house entirely to myself; no child, no ex. It was horrible. I felt like I was missing a limb; the little person who was usually at my elbow, whose needs and wants defined my day, was not there.
I hated it. I was lonely, and miserable, and outside of work, my days kind of felt without purpose. It made me realise that no matter how much of a struggle it is at times, I am a mummy before anything else.
Do you feel like this if your children are away from you?