PARENTS

Achtung Baby Or If You Don't Agree With Me, You're Wrong!

10/08/2010 15:42 | Updated 22 May 2015

I watched a program recently about kids with behavioral disorders and the amount of medication prescribed for them even at the tender age of six. It made for disturbing viewing. Without wishing to be too controversial, suffice it to say I remain relatively skeptical. The film was made in USA and I'm not sure about the situation regarding the drugging up of children whose parents are unable to control them in the UK.Though I am well aware that some children do need help in the form of medication, here in Germany I've yet to hear of a single case.

Okay, maybe a touch controversial.

One of the "disorders" had been given the apt abbreviation O.D.D or Oppositional Defiant Disorder!

Can you hear me laughing from there? Though I must confess my delight at the news of my lifelong ethos actually being awarded an official name. As my best friend pointed out, "Blimey Suze, we've had that all our lives!"

Am I suffering, yet again from Mum-fail, or aren't kids supposed to be defiant and oppositional and for that matter disordered?

ironic that the abridgment should be O.D.D. because to my mind there's nothing odd about it. Finje tries to oppose me, defiantly, every day of the week. It gets dealt with one way or another. Rarely she wins, usually she doesn't. Occasionally I have the feeling she dominates our lives in a way not dissimilar to Mad King Ludwig of Bavaria but I have yet to find any one of my parenting generation who has the discipline thing down cold.

There are of course moments when the O.D.D. swings into action in such a way you find yourself rendered unequipped and floundering. It's asparagus season here.You could be forgiven for wondering what significance this has on ones everyday life but significance it has. The usually reserved and composed North Germans become positively irrepressible with enthusiasm over what is often referred to as "edible ivory". Thank goodness I adore it too as any derogatory comments regarding this vegetable would be regarded as something akin to a national insult.

Finje, until now has received special dispensation on account of her tender age. But having reached four it is generally expected that she is ready for initiation into the "Spargel" club. She, of course sees things differently. Previous years have involved her demonstrating her repulsion with turned up nose and shake of head. This year she was, shall we say, more vocal and rather more convincing in her argument.

"I don't want to eat it it looks like a penis!" Said with a look that screamed: "And if you think you can make me you can kiss my talc-covered bum."

Can't argue with that opposition, however defiant.

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