Diary Of A 5-Year-Old: Chewing Gum

10/08/2010 15:46 | Updated 22 May 2015

Only grown ups are allowed to chew chewing gum. That's what my dad says. But I don't really understand why. Emily in Kindergarten says if you swallow chewing gum it will stick onto your inside things and make you poorly or you might even die! Mummy says chewing gum is disgusting. She says if you forget you have it in your mouth and go to bed with it still in, very horrible things can happen. She won't say what sort of horrible things but Leonard who lives next door reckons you grow a chewing gum tree in your belly and when it gets big it starts to grow out of your belly button and then your ears. And he must know because he's almost ten! It could be true too because if you eat apple pips an apple tree will grow in your tummy. My Auntie Lucy, who isn't really a real Auntie but that's what we call her said so.

In Australia everybody must chew loads of gum, even the kids, because they have Gum Trees that are real trees and not in your tummy! It's in one of my story books. So why are the children in Australia allowed to have it but not me? I haven't seen a picture of Gum Tree but they must be really cool. Mummy is always saying that money doesn't grow on trees but maybe it does in Australia if if gum does. When I'm big I'm going to travel to lots and lots of different countries to find trees. I will find the Chocolate Egg tree, the Tomato Ketchup Tree and the Ikea Meatball and Sauce Tree and bring them all back to plant in my garden.

Oh yeah and a money tree for mummy.

Suggest a correction