PARENTS

Diary Of A 5-Year-Old: Love And Stuff

10/08/2010 16:17 | Updated 22 May 2015

Emily from kindergarten has a big sister and she's getting married on Saturday in the big church in town. Emily says her sister is twenty-two so she must have known her boyfriend for ages because twenty-two is really old. I think you have to go out and do things together first before you get married to see if you like each other. It would be horrible to marry someone if they didn't like the same things you do. Sometimes it might be good though. If they didn't like gummi bears but you did then you could keep them all for yourself. But if they don't like Teletubbies and you want to watch it then that would be bad. Mummy says you have to get to know each other and that even boys have something interesting to say if you listen for long enough.

I don't think I want to ever get married because then you have to kiss! I don't want to do that. Ever. Emily says if you kiss you get boy germs. If I really have to then I'm not going to do it in front of anyone else. That would be dead embarrassing. Mummy says if you love somebody then it's nice to kiss. I don't really know what love means but I know I love my mummy and daddy. And the cat, but not when she kills mice and leaves them on the doorstep. Mummy must really love daddy because she even kisses him when he's all smelly and sweaty after he's been jogging.

Emily says her sister is always talking about how much she loves her boyfriend and something about being shot with an arrow! I didn't think it was supposed to hurt. Maybe he smells nice. Mummy says it's nice when daddy smells nice.

Love and all that stuff sounds a bit like hard work. Sometimes kindergarten is hard work especially learning new words. If it's harder than kindergarten I don't think I'll bother with it.

Suggest a correction