PARENTS

Achtung Baby Or Madly In Love With...Whatshisname

31/01/2011 15:40 | Updated 22 May 2015

How I managed to keep a straight face as I collected Finje from yet another birthday party last week I don't know. The birthday girl's mum did seem to be attempting to communicate something as I called Finje to come downstairs. It was pretty hectic in the hallway and I didn't have time to decipher her facial contortions, which actually left me wondering if she was unwell in some way. As far as I'm aware gurning hasn't yet caught on in Germany.

It took a few calls to get Finje down the stairs but when she did appear, she made quite an entrance. She emerged hand-in-hand with the party girl's older brother who was so busy gazing into my daughter's eyes he tripped on the top step! As for Finje, she looked like a rather flushed cat who has got the cream.

I couldn't help it, a wave of pride washed over me.

Jasper, the object of infatuation, took it upon himself to prove that chivalry is alive and well in Germany. He insisted on helping Finje with her coat and then asked his mother if he could accompany her out to the car to wave goodbye. Mum, throwing me an amused "I did try and warn you" look agreed. Watching him check that Finje's seat belt was securely in place I struggled to suppress a fit of the church giggles. Just about maintaining a poker face, I watched Jasper waving frantically until we were out of sight.

The darkness of the car gave me some relief as I bit my lip waiting impatiently for the sordid details. It was a short wait. She couldn't contain herself.

I learned that Jasper is five years old and has scalextric and lots of dinosaurs. And apparently they are getting married. Oh and they kissed! But it wasn't "really real" because they both wiped their mouths afterwards. The words were pouring out and she was giggling like a loon. Then she asked if she could sleep with him! Before hyperventilation set in, I realised she meant a sleepover, which is good. There's plenty of time for the "first time it feels a bit like doing the splits over a bonfire" chat yet.

I'm not overly concerned though. Not 24 hours after the announcement of her marriage, she was talking about the party again:

"And the very best thing about Ella's party was playing with.. with...Oh what was his name again?"

Very fickle my girl.

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Achtung Baby
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