Twitter Jokes Of The Day: Wednesday 23 November 2011

Twitter's Best Jokes Of The Day

And what a day it's been! National Freelancers Day, to be precise. National Freelancers' Day, to possibly be more precise. As well as the day that generations will look back on and ask: "Do you remember where you were when you learned that Benton was, in fact, called Fenton?".

So without further ado, onto today's funniest tweets. So far. Plus a few from last night that have cunningly snuck in under the radar - as they will be wont to do.

Oh, and in case you're wondering: #PMQs is the Twitter hashtag for Prime Minister's questions in the Commons. Hence the lovely big picture of David Cameron above us. Enjoy! (The tweets, that is. Not the lovely big picture of David Cameron. We realise that's probably asking too much, even for a Wednesday.)

"Difficult not to vomit watching this #imacelebrity trial - Pat Sharp's quips really are terrible." - @jackseale

"It's National Freelance Day - the day you can get your boil lanced for FREE." - @BekiHobbs

"What is National Freelancers Day when it's at home?" - @comedyfish

"I wonder if Rupert Murdoch will take his kids to work on November 30." - @Gary_Bainbridge

"Londoners. Liking the fog? It's a special present from up North, so you can pretend you've travelled outside of the M25 and are cultural." - @InAMadHouse

"In WHSmith when you buy the Telegraph you get a free bottle of Vittel, and when you buy the Mail you get a string of misguided opinions." - @joelycett

"When Bagpuss "went to sleep" all the other creatures "went to sleep" too. That was a grim day at the vets." - @jacques_aih

"If I heard the pot calling the kettle black, I'd definitely stop smoking the pot." - @sixthformpoet

"Cameron pays tribute to Pudsey. But how long has he been waiting for that eye operation? #PMQs" - @mrjohnofarrell

"'Is the Prime Minister aware that during his time in office, the number of videos featuring dogs called 'Fenton' has increased by...'" #PMQs" - @MJOwen174

"RT @NotAllAboutBoys: #PSQA @serafinowicz What's at the top of your bucket list? - 1. Buy bucket." - @serafinowicz

"Hands up if you need to reach something from a high shelf." - @FrankieMcGinty

"I am now in Nike Town. Lacking a cathedral, it can never become Nike City." - @themanwhofell

"Thanks to all of you who pointed out that since the 16th century a cathedral isn't necessary for a city. I'll pass this on to Nike." - @themanwhofell

"True or false: 80% of Daily Mail readers believe that Poland is now empty." - @RealBobMortimer

Missed this week's other funniest jokes? Here are Monday's. And here are Tuesday's. Enjoy! Neither of them has a picture of David Cameron.

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