Jedward: How Showbiz Are You?
We got the X Factor twins to sit still just about long enough to determine their showbiz credentials...
1. Who's the most famous name in your mobile?
Edward: The thing about me and John is that we meet all these famous people and we never get their numbers - but they know who we are!
John: We have SC [Simon Cowell] on speed dial!
Edward: Like Ke$ha and everyone else we've met, we never ask for their number. Anyway we'd probably just do prank phone calls.
Referring to Cowell as SC? Now THAT'S showbiz! 5/5
2. What's the most bizarre thing you've ever read about yourself?
John: Someone said we aren't twins. We are.
Obviously don't read their own press. 0/5
3. How much is too much for a haircut?
Edward: Does that mean price?
John: We used to get our hair cut for 7 Euros.
Edward: We used to do our own hair and when it became a big trademark everyone started asking for the 'Jedward standard cut' then the 'Jedward cut and blow dry'. Some salons back home in Ireland started to advertise the fact we got our hair done there but we never used to go to salons, our aunt used to do our hair.
Never mind 'the Rachel' or 'the Cheryl', it's all about 'the Jedward'. 5/5
4. Katie Price: Friend or foe?
John: What's a foe?
Edward: I thought you were talking about lambs!
John: Yeah or fake fur or something. But Katie Price, we don't hate her.
Edward: Can I just give a shout out to Britney Spears if she's looking at this? And Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers, Beyonce and Lady GaGa.
John: The thing is we've met Lady GaGa before, we've met her twice, and she said she wants to work with us, hopefully she still does.
Oh dear. 0/5
5. What's the weirdest thing you've been sent by a fan?
John: Someone sent us pictures of them in a Teletubby outfit.
Edward: The thing about our fans is they're so dedicated and we know what it's like to be a fan so we spend loads of time with them and read all our fan mail.
We have a sneaky suspicion that might have been an actual Teletubby. 5/5
6. What's the best party you've ever been to?
Edward: We're not like party animals.
John: We haven't really been to any.
Edward: I've always wanted to go to MTV sweet-sixteen parties where the kids get all the really cool stuff like a car and a swimming pool. And sometimes they don't get the car they want and they start crying and you're like, 'you just got a car!'
John: Yeah they're like, 'mum I don't want that car now!'
Edward: I want to go to one of those parties 'cause if you mess up the house you don't have to clear it up.
Guess you need to be invited in the first place. 0/5
7. Have you ever used your fame to get you what you want?
Edward: We don't really have that stereotype of 'don't you know who I am?' We've never done that.
John: We just try to be nice and then people give us stuff for free. We don't expect to get things because we're famous.
Edward: Sometimes you get free stuff and you're like 'do we even need this?' Our car is really, really messy 'cause we've got loads of stuff in it.
John: We got loads of stuff from our fans for Valentine's Day.
Edward: It's weird because we never got a Valentine's Card before and now we've got teddy bears and roses.
8. And finally, have you ever been chatted up by another celeb?
Edward: Yeah, Mariah Carey.
Yeah riiiiight! 0/5
Gawd love 'em, J&E are loving their new-found fame but we reckon they should be milking it for all it's worth. Blagging freebies and party invites should be second nature by now but they're more interested in giving 'shout outs' to Britney during interviews and personally responding to fan mail. Boys, you've got an awful lot to learn and not a lot of time left to learn it. Get a move on!