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Danny Dyer: How Showbiz Are You?

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DANNY DYER
Danny Dyer | Getty

He's one of the UK's most versatile actors, playing anything from cockney geezers to London wide boys, from 'muppets' to 'gangstas' - even 'slaaaags'. OK we jest, but we love Danny 2Dyer anyway, so we decided to ask the Football Factory star - just how showbiz are you?

1. Who is the most famous name in your mobile?
50 Cent. He passed it on to me when we worked together on Dead Man Running. He said if I was ever in New York I should get in touch, but I've never had the b*****ks to!
3/5. Fiddy's probably a 4 star celeb, but Danny's docked a point for being a coward!

2. Most bizarre thing you've ever read about yourself?
Years ago I read that Simon Cowell wanted me to be in his next boy band. That freaked me out. I thought: 'really? I haven't had the call!' Last year I did the Xtra Factor and he walked straight past me, so he doesn't even know who I am. Mind you, he doesn't have to, does he?
4/5. Somehow, we can't see Danny in Westlife. East 17, maybe...

3. How much is too much for a haircut?
A bird called Keeley cuts mine on the cheap, but I think any more than a score [cockney geezer talk for £20] is far too much for a man. I remember getting my hair cut for three quid in the late 80s. Those days are gone.
0/5. £20?! That wouldn't get you a shampoo in celeb land!

4. Katie Price - friend or foe?

Certainly not a friend. Don't really know the bird and don't want to. Not my type of person at all. We've been out in the same places before but I've never met her.

4/5. Seen the Price Circus in action but resisted going in for an easy photo op - respect.

5. What's the weirdest thing you've been sent by fan?
A pencil and a piece of paper from a fella who wanted me to draw around my feet and hands and send it back to him. F**k knows what for. I thought I'd treat him so I obliged anyway. Well, it only took me three minutes!
1/5. Nice to see a celeb who 'treats' their fans, but not a very showbiz request!

6. What's the best party you've ever been to?

Probably when I got invited to the Emirates Palace in Abu Dhabi for the opening of Simon Fuller's club. It was the night England lost to Croatia a few years ago. I was gutted, but the party cheered me right up. One word for it mate: tinsel.
5/5. It doesn't get much swankier than that!

7. Ever used your fame to get what you want?
Sometimes I get stuff for my kids, like tickets to the Toy Story 3 premiere. But I'd never do the whole 'don't you know who I am?' thing - that's not what I'm about. If someone doesn't know who you are, then go home!
1/5. Very honourable Danny. Sadly though, not very showbiz.

8. How much cash would it take to get you to pose in the buff?
Already done it mate - twice! I did it for nothing for testicular cancer awareness and I did it for £500 for Attitude magazine. Didn't get my c**k out, but near enough mate, know what I mean?
0/5. Mother's pride!

9. Best freebie you ever received?
A hamper from Harrods. I used to make documentaries for Bravo and they sent it to me just before Christmas. It was like the never-ending hamper, full of mad little chutneys and champagne glasses and bottles of port... Me and the missus were unloading it for ages. I loved that.
3/5. Bless!

10. Ever been chatted up by another celeb?
Loads of times but I won't say who. That would almost be a kiss-and-tell wouldn't it? And that would make me a complete p***k.
2/5. No, that would make you a spoil-sport.

Result: 23/50
Danny's reputation as a jack-the-lad-done-good is safe. He's enjoyed some of the trappings of fame without letting it go to his 'loaf of bread'. Well done geeza!