PARENTS

Friends Forever? Just Because You're New Mums Doesn't Mean You're Going Be Best Friends

31/01/2012 19:55 | Updated 22 May 2015
Mums and babiesGetty

Just because you're a new mum, it doesn't mean you have to be friends with everyone in the same boat. Here's how to be a discerning friend-maker.

Whether it's through the NCT, your baby's swimming class or simply the weekly newborns' weigh-in, you're bound to meet some other new mums along the way. But you shouldn't feel obliged to meet up for coffee with everyone who crosses your path.

The 'my baby's already done it' mum

Whether it's crawling, eating or sleeping through the night, you can be sure as soon as you mention it, her baby has already achieved it. You'll soon notice it's uncanny whenever you mention a milestone your little one has just conquered, she jumps in quick as a flash to say they've been there, done that and are way ahead of you.

Why it's good to be friends: If her baby really is the leader of the pack, you can get some good tips and learn from her mistakes.

When it's probably best to lose her number: It can be grating if you're always being pipped to the post. Whatever anyone says, it's nice when you – and your little one – get there first.

The 'me, me, me' mum

Be it sore nipples, sleepless nights or how much pureeing she's done that week, the 'me, me, me' mum always has something to say – and it's always about her. Whether she's moaning on or extracting advice from you, she's number one in her eyes.

Why it's good to be friends: She's so busy harping on about herself, you barely need to respond so there might be time to take a little upright nap. Also, you'll start to feel good about yourself if you're dishing out advice. Perhaps you are more in control than you thought!

When it's probably best to lose her number: Hello? You've got a baby too, if she hasn't noticed – which there's a chance she might not have the way she's carrying on. Time her for an hour – if she still hasn't asked how you're getting on, she's just not worth your energies.

The mother of twins

If you think you've got it bad, she's got twice the trouble. Nappies, bottles, bath time – you can be sure however difficult you're finding everything, you've got nothing on this mum! Unless of course you are a mum of twins – in that case, your time will come. Your two will have a constant playmate while all the other exhausted mums are desperately trying to amuse their toddlers.

Why it's good to be friends: She'll make you count your blessings. Whenever you're struggling to cope, just think of her with two bundles of screaming joy and only one pair of hands.

When it's probably best to lose her number: If she's completely unsympathetic to all your woes. You have your hardships too – just not as many. And it can be annoying if her double buggy is so wide it stops you getting into your favourite coffee shop.

The 'sod it – let's have a drink' mum

Perfect for encouraging you to let your hair down. Motherhood doesn't have to be all sterilisers and breast pads. It will make you a better mum if you get out for a couple of drinks and a gossip every so often.

Why it's good to be friends: It's all too easy to slump on the sofa in a ball exhaustion, but actually doing your hair, putting on make-up and leaving the house and your baby is good for you – and this mum knows it.

When it's probably best to lose her number: There are still those 5am starts to think about and the last thing you need is a hangover on three hours sleep with a teething baby in your arms, so make a wide berth if she's intent on partying through the night.

The 'Mary Poppins' mum

She's practically perfect in every way, but don't let that put you off. Dig a little deeper and you may find she's not as together as she seems. After all, something has to give – doesn't it?

Why it's good to be friends: If she really is the super mum she makes out to be, then perhaps she's got some tips on how to handle your chaotic timetable. And if she's faking it – then she can let you into that secret too!

When it's probably best to lose her number: If you find yourself adopting a rictus grin every time she's around or nodding like a toy dog in the back of a Ford Escort, when actually what you want to do is cry and slag off your husband for sleeping through the night feeds.

Do these types sound familiar? Have you made any great mum friends or lost any along the way?

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