After what was possibly a mandatory absence from the music industry after previous single Stars Are Blind, Paris Hilton has returned with a brand new musical effort: Drunk Text - a Musical Superstars track featuring Paris on vocals.
The video is above but in case you find yourself mysteriously unwilling to press 'play' we have listened for you (multiple times) and will offer our thoughts on the matter.
Paris appears to have taken a leaf out of William Shatner's musical book and is offering up a spoken word affair about a trip to the club with her friends. To give you an idea of the tone of proceedings, it starts: "I went down to the club the other night to, y'know, dance with my bitches."
In a very real sense, this is an audiodrama. If it was set at a village fete and not in a nightclub it would probably do very well on Radio 4. Unfortunately for the BBC village fetes remain absent for the duration of the track.
What you will find is Paris telling a series of short stories about drunken texts she has recently received and unbecoming ends to nights out ("last night's lingerie in my purse").
The clip has garnered a mixed reaction from Vimeo users. Henry Law offered: "this is incredibly creative and i just love it" [sic], while John Hunter agreed: "Pretty darn good - more than exceeded my expectations and was slickly mature too. One up for Paris."
On the flip side was pro-user The Precinct who stated: "This is why people jump in front of trains. I watched a little and now I am ready to rage and smash bottles at work."
What do you think? Modern classic or destined for the bargain bin?
For more blonde celebrities (yes, it's a tenuous link) here's a whole gallery full of them:
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