One of the perks of working at Huffington Post UK Comedy is the chance to meet your heroes. Comedians, writers, and in the case of Twitter: horses.
Yes, the Twitter sensation that is @WeirdHorse has over 55,000 followers - and he's a constant source of delight. When he's not tweeting horsey-inspired pop lyrics ("And then I go and spoil it all by neighing something horsey like I love hooves"), he's tweeting about neighing at goats or kicking slugs or licking biscuits off badgers . He is, in short, an equine delight - and we're very grateful to his owner, @BaffledFarmer, for allowing him out of his field to talk to us about his life on the farm, his life on Twitter, and his ambitions for the future (which may involve selling T-shirts). So if you've ever wanted to hear Weird Horse speak in more than 140 characters at a time, read on...
The Huffington Post UK: When and why did you join Twitter?
Weird Horse: "It July. It a lovely summer’s day on the farm and I just trotting as I normally do, from one fence to another fence and then sometimes to another fence. It seem unorthodox but it is what I do. During a particularly intense gallop I pass a bush at speed and catch a whiff of beans. I had not eaten that day and my belly was making hunger sounds so I stopped and entered the shrub to search for a potential edibles. I find a small plastic thing with a screen and I licked it. Instead of it tasting of bean, it downloaded a app and now I cannot just leave a app in a bush. I browse the internet for a moment but farmer caught me and he make me join a social network. Humans tell everyone what they have for lunch on online so what makes a horse unable? I did a Twitter on July 27th 2011."
Your tweets sometimes mention the farm's fauna (goats, cows, slugs) and flora (parsnips) - can you tell us a bit more about life on the farm?
"The farm is a serene place. I not saying I the leader of the pack but there a definite hierarchy. Farmer, he jack of all trades; one day he be harvesting luscious wheat in a field and next day he be milking a goat in another field.
Sometime when Farmer is away I left to my own devices and that often lead to insect death because I by my own admission am a clumsy idiot and if I trot too fast in muddy pastures I obviously going to slip and inadvertently murder a slug or in worst case scenario four slugs. I be so nice some days but I not get on with this one goat who live here. He so livid all the time and I not want his sulking to rub off onto the other animals. No-one like a moody pig.
It lovely here, I not complain. I sometimes wish I had horsey friends to talk to, though. I not for one minute saying I not fulfilled trotting up and down with a cow, but it would be nice to meet one of my own. It my dream to meet a zebra and I not think that will ever happen but then again we all have dreams and I not ashamed. I horse."
Your relationship with Baffled Farmer seems rather love-hate - is that how you would describe it?
"I not comment on my relationship with Farmer. He a hard worker and he feed me when I hungered but he nasty and a bully. I always say I cannot live with him and cannot live without him. It so weird. He mean well. When I feel peckish, and there are occasions when this is the case, he give me beans, he give me burgers. He give me what I want, but when Farmer want something done he will go through a length to get it done. I exploited, I know it. He using me and I not going to argue; I get the finest hay in the UK and it because of his agricultural nous."
You once ran away from the farm - do you now regret that?
"I spoken to a elephant once and he said “Travel broaden the mind”. I never knew what he meant until the day I galloped at high speeds through Times Square or when I spat on a penguin in Canada. It has made me what I am and I am a horse but now I have been to places further afield from a field and it better for it. I had my baked beans confiscated when I returned but Farmer missed me deep down and he know he need me."
You tweet a lot of song lyrics - who are your favourite artists?
"Farmer has a radio in his tractor and he leave it on for me because he know it keep me calm and I have a creative mind. I trying to get into DubTrot at the moment but it real difficult to dance to.
My favourite artists in human terms are Ed Sheeran and Rihanna. I bump into Rihanna every so often when I go to the veterinary surgeon. She always in the bakery next door. We know each other by name now and she always have a rucksack of biscuits in case she spot me going for my psychoanalysis with doctor.
There used to be a cow on the farm that had an udder you could play like a bagpipe, but I never approach. If I honest I found it too odd and surprise surprise, it was abattoir-bound shortly after Farmer heard a swan playing on it in the early hours."
Things sadly didn't go too well for you at Cheltenham this year - are you hoping to return next year?
"I practice. Lord know I do. I do a jump then a gallop and I know I good enough if I try. I train every day with a sheep. He called Ewesain Bolt and he go from one fence to another like he in a real fast vehicle. My ambition is to win the Gold Cup or get an invite to Aintree. I love the racing and a lot of my old friends are making a lot of money just trotting at speed on the television."
You have 50,000 followers - how are you coping with fame?
"It weird. I know not much about the followers. I just a talkative horse and I have a gift. I learning English language and I not think any animal done this before. I have a duty to do it I believe and on top of that, Farmer, he forcing me now anyway. I mention exploitation earlier and it true.
I get unusual crowds at the field now and they giving me so much baked beans and biscuits that I pretend to save them for later and then dump them in the chicken coop when the crowds disperse. I loving life and I thank the horsey lord for I am a lucky one."
Do you think you're weird?
"No I not. I definitely not. It not normal to kick things at pigs but I not weird. I only sound weird because I talk. I saw a horse burp up a hedgehog once and horses can’t even burp so how weird is that. That not me, though. I suppose I just making most my of surroundings."
If I wanted to buy, say, a Weird Horse mug or T-shirt, where could I do that?
"On a internet. Farmer done a real nice internet about me. The T-shirts are gorgeous and bring a horsey tear to my eye when I forced to wear one. I drink baked beans from a mug every day. You can get them here."Suggest a correction