Ah, The Ballad of Reese Witherspoon's Abdomen. It's a song MyDaily are currently composing based around the actress mid-section and the pregnancy speculation it is currently prompting.
Reese leaving church on Easter Sunday wearing a cute pink dress and grey heels. Photos: Splash
We don't have a finished version to show you yet (most because the only thing we've found to rhyme with Witherspoon is "Mitherspoon" and that's not actually a word) but here are the basic themes from each verse.
She's so OBVIOUSLY PREGNANT.
Yet she hasn't confirmed that she is pregnant.
She keeps wearing outfits that seem designed to all-but-announce said unconfirmed pregnancy - there have been swimsuits. SWIMSUITS.
She has a right to her privacy and we have, like, at least five friends who are currently pregnant so it's not like we're so short of baby bumps on the immediate landscape that we really NEED to speculate about hers.
And if it turns out she's part snake and has actually just eaten her annual meal of one whole elk and is just waiting for it to digest then we'll feel terrible but...
She is so clearly pregnant. Right?
We'll let you know when it's on YouTube.