Cristiano Ronaldo Free-Kick Labelled 'A Wet Dream Of Orgasmic Proportions!' By Commentator (VIDEO)

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English-speaking commentators have been mundane as opposed to mental Italians, unintentionally humorous Germans and goooooooolllllll-loving South Americans. Until now.

GOL TV summariser Ray Hudson was so enamoured with Cristiano Ronaldo's free-kick for Real Madrid against Atletico Madrid on Wednesday night he exclaimed: "This is not just a dream, it’s a wet dream of orgasmic proportions! Wonder strike from CR7!"

But he wasn't finished. Most men are loathe to admit how much they fancy Jessica Rabbit, but not Hudson.

"This has got more curves to it than Jessica Rabbit on steroids. It arches like an incredible rainbow!"

Ronaldo hit a hat-trick in the Madrid derby at the Vicente Calderon to pull Real four points clear of Barcelona at the top of the Primera Liga. Hudson was not seen invading the pitch hugging the Portuguese number seven.

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