Football, bloody hell. Sergio Aguero's right foot, Eastlands outdoing the Hacienda and the look on Sir Alex Ferguson and Phil Jones' faces as it dawned on them Manchester City had won the Premier League only led weight to the pandemonium on Sunday 13 May.
The Premier League got better because it got worse this season. In the big games, defending was as absent as Joey Barton's brain cells.
But football is more about goals, and 2011/12 was the season of hipsters, racism, Gary Neville and Twitter outrage.
We now dissect who was Clint Eastwood, who was Lee van Cleef and who was Eli Wallach. You've seen The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, right?
BRAND OF THE YEAR
Tom Cleverley. Not even into double-figures in terms of appearances for Manchester United, he set up his own website.
MONEY EQUALS HAPPINESS
Yaya Toure earns £250,000 per week. He scored Manchester City's FA Cup semi-final and final winners last season and the Premier League clincher the following campaign.
BEST SOLO GOAL
Hatem Ben Arfa v Bolton.
HIPSTERS' CHOICE OF THE SEASON 1
Tottenham's drop in form was down to Harry Redknapp being made favourite for the England role. Spurs invariably use frivolous excuses for capitulations, and this was another one.
OVERKILL CHANT OF THE SEASON
Anything to Sloop John B. Plastic drivel.
FREE-KICK OF THE SEASON
Leighton Baines v Swansea.
WORST BBC COMMENTATOR
TEN YEARS OLDER
TIZIANO CRUDELI'S BEST MOMENT
BOA! BOA! BOA! TENG! TENG! TENG!
ALAN PARTRIDGE MOMENT
Gary Neville on Fernando Torres' Camp Nou Equaliser.
HIPSTERS' CHOICE OF THE SEASON 2
Athletic Club Bilbao.
BEST PLAYER WITHOUT A MEDAL
Robin van Persie.
WORST PLAYER WITH A MEDAL
WORST SKY COMMENTATOR
WORST IMAGE CONSULTANT
Piers Morgan. Arsenal’s support has a reputation for being rather mild-mannered and soft, yet the ex-Mirror editor gleefully prolongs his #goonerpower trend quest.
VOLLEY OF THE SEASON
Peter Crouch v Manchester City.
ENGLISH DIVER AWARD
Andy Carroll against Newcastle.
WORST INDIVIDUAL PERFORMANCE AWARD
John Terry v Liverpool.
HIPSTERS' CHOICE OF THE SEASON 3
WORST ITV COMMENTATOR
CLANGER OF THE SEASON
Martin Atkinson, Chelsea-Tottenham FA Cup semi-final.
FOOTBALL"S GRIM REAPER
NON-PLAYER OF THE YEAR
Ji-Sung Park. His work rate is second to none because his first touch is second to everyone.
TEN YEARS YOUNGER
HELEN LOVEJOY AWARD
TEAM GOAL OF THE SEASON
Manchester United's equaliser against Manchester City in the Community Shield.
BEST INDIVIDUAL PERFORMANCE AWARD
Luis Suarez v Norwich City at Carrow Road.
GAME OF THE SEASON
INTER MILAN 4-2 AC MILAN
Stewart Downing. Tim Howard has more Premier League goals and assists.
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