15 Of America's Craziest Laws

Huffington Post UK  |  By Posted: Updated: 15/05/2012 17:36

So in a specific borough of New Jersey, it's a finable offence to walk while you text. This means you can't be playing Words With Friends as you're getting run over, mmmkay? Lovely stuff.

And while Britain isn't above a good ol' fashioned crazy law every once in a while - as many a Welshman wandering into Chester on a Friday night will tell you - we have to say that America has the golden gawdy crown when it comes to loony laws.

Several websites are dedicated to the fine pursuit of discussing US local laws, with DumbLaws.com and GuyManningham.com leading the pack, and even two books being published on the topic, namely You May Not Tie an Alligator To A Fire Hydrant: 101 Real Dumb Laws and The Book of Strange Laws and Curious Legal Oddities.

We've gathered together just 15 of our favourite bits of long-forgotten American legislation and created this bonkers bylaw gallery for you to giggle at - but remember, you shouldn't be tying alligators to fire hydrants in the first place. Very poor form, ol' chap.

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  • In New Orleans, Louisiana, the fire code states that you are not allowed to curse a fireman when he is engaged in his official duties.

    Does swearing when you touch something really hot count? Probably not, now we think about it. <em>(Photo credit: Getty)</em>

  • In Barber, North Carolina, fights between cats and dogs are prohibited.

    They are, however, permitted to rain all they like, especially after (or during) a drought. <br><br> <em>(Picture credit: Getty)</em>

  • In Bernards Township, New Jersey, it is illegal to frown as the town is a "Frown-Free Town Zone".

    Conversely, smiling at a police officer is actively encouraged. We're guessing. <br /><br /> (Photo credit: jupiterimages)

  • In Lehigh, Nebraska, doughnut holes may not be sold.

    Not even giant ones to genius billionaire playboy philanthropists<a href="http://latimesherocomplex.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/6a00d8341c630a53ef01347fc4653d970c-600wi.jpg" target="_hplink"> such as Tony Stark here</a>. <em>(Photo credit: Getty)</em>

  • In Maryland, it's illegal to take a lion to the movies.

    An exception is made for lions of the chocolate bar variety. <em> (Photo credit: PA)</em>

  • In Longmeadow, Massachusetts, it is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green.

    It doesn't appear to be illegal to walk across the road carrying a giant pane of glass, however, which will make Buster Keaton fans happy. <em>(Photo credit: Getty)</em>

  • In Waterville, Maine, it is illegal to blow one's nose in public.

    Manners makyth man, after all - and in this town's case, manners also makyth Maine. <em>(Photo credit: Getty)</em>

  • In Louisiana, you may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.

    This also means that you can't tie a fire hydrant to a passing alligator, before you go getting any silly ideas. <em>(Photo credit: PA)</em>

  • In Natoma, Kansas, it's illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suits.

    Forks, however, are fair game. If only Daredevil's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullseye_%28comics%29" target="_hplink">Bullseye</a> were a real person and could somehow make it down to The City sometime soon... <em>(Photo credit: Getty)</em>

  • In Chicago, Illinois, it is illegal to fish in pyjamas.

    This one actually makes sense - you'd do better to fish in a pond or a lake. <em>(Photo credit: jupiterimages)</em>

  • In Georgia, donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.

    Unless they're actually having a bath, in which case, fair enough. <em>(Photo credit: PA)</em>

  • In Pinecrest, Florida, in order to operate a burglar alarm, a permit must be obtained.

    Here in the UK, we'd call that 'the British sense of fair play' - after all, robbery's just a bit of sport, what? <em>(Photo credit: jupiterimages)</em>

  • In Denver, Colorado, it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next door neighbour.

    Of course, here in Britain, we have a different law - here it's illegal to lend your <em>hoover</em> to your next door neighbour. Wait, something's wrong with that sentence... <em>(Photo credit: Getty)</em>

  • In Pacific Grove, California, you can be fined $500 if you bother a butterfly.

    Unfortunately, the legal statues are unclear as to what constitutes 'bothering' when it comes to a butterfly. Whatever the weather, don't run around with a butterfly net, pretending your a Jedi - it's just not worth it. <em> (Photo credit: PA)</em>

  • In Washington state, there is a law that states that 'a motorist with criminal intentions [must] stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town.'

    And just to be polite, he should give 'em a bell when he's making his getaway. Well, it always pays to be polite. <em>(Photo credit: jupiterimages)</em>

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Barbara Longstaff
01:51 PM on 05/19/2012
How can I go into shop now witout tying my pet alligator to a fire hydant, guess I will have to leave him at home.
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vividrick
I came, I saw...I had a cup of tea!
11:30 AM on 05/19/2012
Dammit! I was planning a trip to Maryland & hoping to take my pet Simba to watch The Avengers as well!

...Amazing the whacky gun-laws aren't in this list!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Jill Press
12:11 PM on 05/19/2012
Hi, VividRick.

The Second Amendment provides a constitutional guarantee of the right of citizens to bear arms. In the context of a constitution written by people who had just fought a revolution against an oppressive regime, that made some sense. So, I guess we can blame you Brits for our out-of-control gun nuts. If King George III had just let go, without a fight, guns would not have seemed so important.

Some of us think it is unlikely that the founders meant the Second Amendment to mean that anyone can stockpile an armory of automatic weapons, but that's how lots of Americans take it. Gun owners are a powerful voting block, and the NRA (National Rifle Association) is one of the most powerful and well funded organization in the country.

Of course, geography is an important consideration in local laws. In New York City, the local gun control laws are relatively strict, whereas in Texas, it seems that everyone has a gun rack on the car.

While constitutional guarantees (free speech, due process, the freedom from having the government break into your home) are crumbling, the Second Amendment is as strong as ever.

And don't forget, everywhere, even in the UK, the right of weapons suppliers to make a profit outweighs all other considerations, the British sale of arms to Bahrain, so the government can shoot down protesters, being only one such example.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Barbara Longstaff
01:52 PM on 05/19/2012
You Yanks have always been gun happy fire first then ask questions after.
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vividrick
I came, I saw...I had a cup of tea!
08:41 PM on 05/19/2012
Thanks Jill Press. Yes I see where you're coming frmo with that thorough explanation. As I said before in a different forum, Campaign Against Arms trade do brilliant work in exposing Government dealings, especially ours, when it comes to flogging military hardware to corrupt despots. I also feel the same in a domestic gun-law situation, whether it be here, America or anywhere else. I don't buy in the cliche that it's not guns that kill people, it's the person pulling the trigger. I believe availability has as much part to play as intention. If this wasn't the case, then why would Police bother issueing random gun/knives amnesties every now & then, because they know every weapon, be it in the right hands or wrong, has potential to end an innocent life.
09:03 AM on 05/19/2012
i think it should be illegal here, to text, or talk on a phone while you walk. Also wear headphones to listen to music on a bike!!! The amount of accidents or near accidents these have caused would be reduced. We see it every day, someone steps off the pavement because they are not concentrating, and bike riders tottaly unaware of the traffic behind them because they cant hear.
03:05 PM on 05/19/2012
The problem is people like you. Walkers and bikers lived are endangered because people in cars don't pay attention, not because we listen to music.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
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11:51 PM on 05/20/2012
Strange, while growing up 1960's my parents taught us children - never to cross a road until you look and make sure no cars are coming. The reason ? Cars are bigger than you. Getting hit by a car can kill you (it happened to my grandfather - a drunk driver). And cars can not stop on a dime just because you decide to walk or ride your bike across the street without paying attention. TODAY drivers will get a fine if they do not stop at the cross-walk for walkers & bikes. Some cross walks even have FLAGS for the walkers to wave as they walk across the street. WHAT happened to common sense ? LOOK FIRST.
12:16 AM on 05/19/2012
All of these so called "laws" are not Law

They are a writing down of rules made up by human beings.

You don't have to abide by ANY of them.
11:16 AM on 05/19/2012
They are a writing down of rules to make the place better for everyone. Generally they are made up by the agreement of many. The Bankers didn't abide by all the rules and look what happened to the global economy.
I'll take law over anarchy any day.
cantabria
my default position is wrong
07:26 AM on 05/21/2012
How many bankers have been prosecuted?
08:13 PM on 05/18/2012
Pleased we dont have that daft lion law - would mean I would have to leave mine in the car when I went to the flicks - mind it would stop someone nicking my car!
07:57 PM on 05/18/2012
There just as crazy in the UK old Laws one is if there is a pregnant woman and she needs the Loo she can ask a police man for his helmet to use,

another a lot of people don't know is wearing cloths in a car can illegal if you haven't got goods insurance a copper can tell you to tell you to take them if they want don't think its ever happened lol.
12:29 AM on 05/19/2012
Neither of these is true, they are just myths. Do a little research before posting on here, please. Might also be worth rereading what you have typed before hitting the Post Comment button :-)
cantabria
my default position is wrong
07:58 AM on 05/19/2012
Nothing quite like a quick check at urbanmyths, wikipedia or similar web site. Although I quite like the idea of not allowing texting and walking at the same time.
10:22 AM on 05/19/2012
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080217084200AAwdZ0W

check this out Tony and yes should checked my wording noticed after posting i missed a couple of words always doing it a bit dyslexic but don't do to bad as i did not know ABC when left school at 14 my Girlfriend taght me to speel i could always read but could not rember the words how to speel still have the proberlom today,

it is an old Law about the Helmet which has never been taken away but a lot of poilce use flat caps now days and thinking of it is there not a small hole in top of helmet,

As for the cloths have to check that out but im sure its true as if you are wearing somthing from a shop that is classed as goods so if you havent goods insurance I m not sure somthing my old dad told me in 60/70s Tony
03:34 PM on 05/18/2012
All these USA laws sound perfectly reasonable to me. Especially the one about two men carrying bathtubs across a park. One man ought to be enogh.
cantabria
my default position is wrong
08:01 AM on 05/19/2012
Well it depends what it is made of I suppose. If it's made of fibre glass then yes, one man ought to be enough, but what about one of those free standing cast iron jobs? Even 2 men might have difficulty with one of those. Not enough detail in the law, it should specify the material of the bath tub and the strength of the men carrying it, then sling the so-and-sos in jail.
09:51 AM on 05/19/2012
Of course you are quite right. That particular law is a bit vague. For instance is it OK for two women to do it? Now before you say that women would not have the strength I would like to meet a couple of female friends of mine. One of them is a crane driver.The other one is a member of a team that moves extremely overweight people (and we are talking about heavier than Sumo wrestlers) in and out of hospitals.Now she's a strapping lass and no mistake.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
03:23 PM on 05/18/2012
I cant understand why a murder in the UK can have a nice room with a nice meal and an X-Box. Would be better sorting that out instead of laughing at funny laws in another country.
08:14 PM on 05/18/2012
Murderers with nice rooms and X boxes - youve been listenning to the tories to much!
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03:19 PM on 05/18/2012
America execute criminals who murder rather than give them a telling off.
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03:18 PM on 05/18/2012
The UK dont do anything with laws ... criminals get sent home and told to come back a year later to see how they are getting on.
03:26 PM on 05/18/2012
Well said Alexander. The frustrating thing is though we aren't allowed to rant our anger at these stupid people who make these stupid laws. The huffers are part and parcel of these people who make stupid laws, as the huffers don't allow us free speech, hence their part of the stupid law makers.
cantabria
my default position is wrong
08:03 AM on 05/19/2012
Just choose your words better, don't say things like idiot or stupid, or sware, or insult people directly and your post will get through. When I hit post comment this will go pending because it contains certain words.
02:59 PM on 05/18/2012
Thing about the Welshman in Chester is a myth unfortunately.
03:29 PM on 05/18/2012
It's no myth. The law was actually mentioned in House of Commons as recently as 6th Feb 2007 when Christine Russell (MP for Chester) said:

"I freely admit that cross-border relationships have not always been harmonious in the past. For instance, a local byelaw in Chester states that a Welsh person found within the city walls after sunset can be taken out with a crossbow."
04:02 PM on 05/18/2012
All that proves is that she has been taken in by the myth too.

I say it on QI first and have just googled it and found this.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4619942.stm
02:25 PM on 05/18/2012
I can't even text when I am sat down.
03:27 PM on 05/18/2012
Hehehe bit like mesel lol.
cantabria
my default position is wrong
08:05 AM on 05/19/2012
Me neither, never sent a text in my life, ban texting, totally useless pastime, like talking on here I suppose.
01:51 PM on 05/18/2012
lending your hoover out well heard it all now and against the law mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
01:49 PM on 05/18/2012
lardyfitman
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gundaw
I know nuffinck!
10:50 AM on 05/19/2012
If you may say so yourself....
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01:14 PM on 05/18/2012
We don't have free standing fire hydrants in the UK, so i have to tie my Alligator to a lamp post instead !
03:29 PM on 05/18/2012
Hehehe wonder will they listen to you Tom?
08:16 PM on 05/18/2012
remember to leave a window open if you leave him in the car.