Following the news that Chelsea football club has been outbid for Battersea Power Station by Malaysian developers, we can now exclusively reveal their plans for the iconic British landmark:

battersea power station

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  • Kenneth Clarke reacts to the cricket, or possibly <em>The Voice</em>.

  • Sebastian Coe realises with horror that the Olympic torch is, in fact, meant to be on a road somewhere between Chester and Stoke-On-Trent.

  • Angela Merkel shows the Polish prime minister what she'd like to do to the Greeks.

  • Eva Longoria suddenly remembers that she's left the iron on.

  • Olly Murs, John Bishop, Bradley Walsh, and Peter Reid enjoy the huge balls on page 3 of <em>Soccer Aid</em> magazine.

  • Paloma Faith gets so hungry on a gig that she eats her microphone.

  • Labour finally gets its <em>Top Gun</em> moment.

  • Katie Price poses with style, as always.

  • Robert Pattinson. What a muppet!

  • All the picture captions you need for this <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/05/31/george-osborne-olympic-torch-caption-competition_n_1559140.html?ref=uk-comedy" target="_hplink">are right here</a>.