A baby. In a cage. Hanging out the window. Four stories up. It’ll never catch on, we hear you cry!
Except it very nearly did.
Yes, as photographed by Getty back in 1937, the “baby cage” was distributed among London members of the Chelsea Baby Club, touted as the antidote to families without gardens or easy access to the outside.
And London’s then East Poplar borough council also wanted a piece of the action – proposing to fix the cages to the outside of its tenement windows, the Telegraph reported.
The Northern Star states the contraption was designed by Emma Read, of Spokane, Washington, with a patent being filed in 1922 and granted a year later.
Literature from the patent reads: “It is well known that a great many difficulties rise in raising and properly housing babies and small children in crowded cities, that is to say from the health viewpoint.
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“With these facts in view, it is the purpose of this invention to provide an article of manufacture for babies and young children, to be suspended upon the exterior of a building adjacent an open window, wherein the baby or young child may be placed.”
The patent adds the cage - which has since taken a place on TIME Magazine's 50 worst inventions of all time list - could also double as a bed and comes equipped with removable curtains to prevent unwanted drafts.
Despite this ambitious vision, hanging your baby out of your bedroom window in a cage next completely took off. Strange, that.
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Isn't it just the worst when you go to your local Blockbuster to rent a DVD and the person before you forgot to rewind it?
Beauty Smile Trainer
We refuse to believe this works better than a little vaseline.
Bowlingual Dog Translator
"Up" comes to the real world with this "dog translator." If this really worked it would actually be kind of terrifying.
We're not saying that eating cookies WON'T make your breasts bigger, we're just saying that they'll also make the rest of you bigger.
Wake Up On Time Pills
OK, so a delayed-release energy booster doesn't sound THAT crazy, but a product that promises to make you "become a 'Morning Person' overnight" just makes us laugh.
Like the flying cars and hover boards of "Back To The Future," here's one more futuristic product that probably won't become standard by 2015.
Not only does this take all the fun out of traditional s'mores, but it's just a plastic box that you microwave them in. Better to spend your $13 on extra chocolate and marshmallows.
Handz Off Anti-Masturbatory Gum
If you need something to stop you from masturbating every six hours, maybe you should try something stronger than gum?
"What could go wrong?" - Someone about to have a terrible first date.
If you really need these to appreciate the outside world, you might as well just go back inside and keep watching TV.
This pad sticks to your underwear and claims to neutralize gas odors. Seriously, just watch the video.
Mood Changing Dress
The Bubelle dress reports to change color with your mood. Although we're sure it's using some super advanced technology, we can't help but think of how well mood rings work.
They do work... if you press really hard, we guess.