Stand-up Alexis Dubus treats the audience to his funniest travel tales in his new show at the Edinburgh Fringe. Some sample topics? UFOs, truckers, Cockneys, bean festivals and the Dutch. He's also taken time out to answer our 10 Quick Questions...
Pitch your Edinburgh show in 25 words or less.
Erm... OK. Really? 25? It just seems so few. It's hard enough choosing 40 for the programme. Ah. Shit. No. Not shit. It's not shit.
Your best Edinburgh moment?
There was something pretty special about doing that first-ever solo show. Who are these people? Why have they chosen me over everyone else? And they're laughing! It's a pretty big milestone for a stand-up to reach.
And your worst?
One year, when I was part of a student sketch show, we got sponsored by Peperami, and Red Bull was being handed out free to performers throughout the festival. By week three, I'd run out of money so was surviving on processed meat and energy drinks. A real low point for me - and my digestive system.
You've got one hour free in Edinburgh - what do you do?
Try to remember to eat in between seeing and doing shows. Man cannot live on culture alone.
Which Edinburgh landmark/venue/place would you give a five star review to?
I do enjoy a bit of Chez Jules, the French restaurant on Hanover Street - great cuisine at great prices. I was once there on Bastille Day. They'd decked the whole place out in revolutionary finery, with the waitresses dressed as Marie Antoinette and the maitre d' as Cyrano de Bergerac. I think some of them were into it, and some very much weren't. It was fun to watch the varying levels of French disdain for their enforced uniform choice that day.
Give us a secret Edinburgh tip!
For perfomers: book yourself a week or two somewhere sunny to do as little as possible once the three weeks of madness are over. Then you've always got that in the back of your mind, like Jonathan Pryce in Brazil.
And for punters: keep an eye out for offers. If we're doing 2-for-1 deals, it normally means we've got press in. You save money, we get bums on seats. Deal? Deal. Just don't laugh half as much, OK?
Deep-fried haggis or deep-fried Mars bar?
Well, I do have a sweet tooth. So if I'm going to die of a coronary anyway, I might as well go for the Mars bar.
Kilt or trousers?
My instant reaction would be "trousers". But, thinking about it, I have unusually chunky calf muscles for a man of my stature, so I reckon I could get away with the kilt.
Arthur's Seat or Arthur Smith?
I would vote either in as Prime Minister.
Complete this sentence: “In Edinburgh, I will be mainly...
Can I not just remove the "i" from "mainly" and then leave it as it is? It's a long three weeks, and there are a lot of hills. I just need that sense of self-belief.
Alexis Dubus's show, Cars and Girls, is at 18.45 at Assembly Roxy, 1-26 August (excluding 14). Find out more and book tickets here.