Students are issued the bizarrely entitled 'I am missing super learning opportunities because I need a tinkle' pass on Monday morning, and it can only be used once during the week. If not used, it must be handed in on Friday afternoon to ensure they are not carried forward to the next week, which would allow pupils, shock horror, TWO toilet breaks.
New headmistress at the school, Charlotte Blencowe, is responsible for the introduction of the cards, along with a whole heap of other extreme measures including students being told they can only communicate in class via a series of hand-signals.
Fingers to eyes and then to the board = I can't see
Hands clasped in the air = I need a new book or paper
Three fingers in the air = I need the toilet
Pupils have also been told that their bags will be searched to ensure their mobile phones are switched off and to check that they have the required number of pens and pencils.
Parents are not impressed, and staged an angry protest outside the college on Thursday after 40 students were sent home for wearing the wrong shoes.
Police were called when crowds of parents gathered outside the gates, furious that their children had been turned away for breaching a tough new uniform code.
Eggs were even thrown at the teachers during the protest!
Teresa Doyle's children, Ellie, 13, and Connoe, 15, attend the school.
She said: "It's a secondary school but they're treating it more like a nursery with all these hand signals and 'tinkle cards'. My kids are saying to me, 'Mum, we're not at school, we're at a prison.'
"They're not allowed to talk in class at all and must do everything by these bizarre hand signals. There were crowds of parents in reception complaining, but no one's yet managed to talk to the headteacher.
"One parent spotted the head teacher in the corridor and tried to speak to her but she refused. She told one of the other teachers to speak to him and then turned her back on him."
The only communication given to parents has been via deputy headteacher, Mark Riggall. Parents yesterday received a text message telling them to go to the school website and download a letter written by Mr Riggall, saying:
"I would officially like to thank everybody who has worked hard to make the day today such a success. The atmosphere inside school was calm and focused, allowing all students to engage their learning in a positive way."
The letter goes on to list the types of shoes which are acceptable, and then states that students wearing the appropriate shoes would be allowed into lessons, whilst those who are not 'will be held in the main hall until the correct footwear is brought into school.'
Miss Blencowe has not commented on the rules or the protest.
What do you make of this? Trying to imagine teenagers queuing for a 'tinkle' pass and the potential for a whole different group of hand signals.
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