PARENTS

Jeff Brazier: I Feel I Am Failing My Children Who Still Miss Their Mum

25/09/2012 20:39 | Updated 22 May 2015
Jeff Brazier pens a heartfelt blog about how his children are still grieving for their mum PA

Jeff Brazier has written a heartfelt post on his blog revealing that he fears he is 'failing' his children because they have started misbehaving at school.

Jeff, who has two boys, Freddie, eight, and Bobby, nine, with the late Jade Goody, asks on his Huffington Post blog 'Am I too soft, too strict? Do I mention mum enough?' and concludes that 'there are so many factors to consider in order to strike the right balance.'

He writes that he was 'shocked and upset' when Bobby's teacher told him he had been badly behaved, and said that he fears that it could be the 'anger and frustration' of losing his mother which had fuelled it.

He describes his oldest son as being 'stubborn and strong-willed' like his mum, but that he was a child who never 'set a foot out of place at school', while his younger brother was 'wonderful at home' but regularly 'took out his frustrations on his teachers'.

Jeff goes on to say that he spoke to younger son Bobby's teacher and explained that his little boy was a 'very angry child due to his loss'.

"I was shocked and upset that Bobby had behaved as badly as she stated," Jeff writes. "It's really not like him, and this is where I go back to my initial comment about failing him. Because if it is the anger and frustration of his loss that fuels this rebellious streak, which in my view is more of a cry for help than any long term intent to be disruptive, then I am not doing enough to disperse these emotions so that they don't affect him or hold him back elsewhere."

Jeff admits that Freddie is also currently sitting alone at school because of his behaviour, writing "he [Freddie] too is sitting on a desk on his own at the moment which makes me feel guilty, guilty because I put a lot of pressure on myself to steer these children through their education, managing their grief as we go so that they go on to great things as great people. Exclusion from the class as a whole isn't part of that blueprint."

Jeff says that he thinks Bobby needs to return to grief counselling through the Grief Encounter organisation which helps bereaved children, and that he is going to send both boys to boxing classes so they can 'physically let go of some of their anger'.

"I don't pretend to have all the answers," he concludes. "I welcome advice from all - sometimes it's the kind tweets that give me the boost I need to stay strong and focused. I stop myself from being too negative by reminding myself that love will prevail and as long as they know I'm there for them we will come through this okay."

What a moving and honest piece of writing from Jeff - and how tough must it be for him bringing up those two little boys on his own, especially as they are obviously still grieving for their mum?

More on Parentdish: Helping your child grieve

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