Cheryl Cole became "delirious" with fever during her malaria fight - lashing out at her doctors and accusing them of plotting to kill her.
The Girls Aloud star was struck down with the disease in June 2010 after she went on a safari holiday with former beau Derek Hough in Tanzania.
In her new book, Cheryl: My Story, which has been serialised in The Sun, Cole admits she was convinced medics wanted her dead, and she began lashing out at them in the intensive care unit.
Cheryl Cole said she was so swollen she looked nine months pregnant
She wrote: "I remember waking up in the Cromwell Hospital, delirious. That was when I started accusing the doctors of trying to kill me. They were... covering my body in freezing, wet towels to try and lower my temperature, but I flung these back at them...
"My face was so puffy my eyes were like slits, and I was so swollen I looked nine months pregnant. A guy held an oxygen mask on my face, but I said, 'I know what you're doing. You're all trying to kill me. Don't think I'm stupid.'
"Both lungs were filled with fluid, my liver was three times normal size and I was five minutes from needing life-long kidney dialysis. They put a catheter on me and I heard someone say, 'If she doesn't get rid of some of this fluid in the next 24 hours, we've lost her.'"
When she showed no improvement, Cold reveals she began praying to die because she couldn't handle suffering any longer.
Cole added: "I can clearly remember asking the nurse if I was dying - and feeling relieved when she said, 'It's a possibility.' 'Make this end,' I thought. I just had nothing left... I was so over it by now - too tired to take any more."
But the ordeal helped the 29-year-old Geordie realise she needed to turn her life around: "I did a lot of thinking there, making connections I'd never thought of before - and they disturbed me... My whole life had been like a mad roller coaster ride.
I'd had enough. I wanted to be floating around on the carousel, not watching my knuckles turn white on the roller coaster. I just had to work out how to change my life."
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