Confessions Of A Hogwarts Student: Harry Potter's Sex Escapades Revealed

21/12/2012 12:35 GMT | Updated 02/01/2013 15:57 GMT

We've always thought Mr Potter and his merry band of men (and muggles) can't possibly be that squeaky clean.

And, turns out Harry's brandished his wand on several occasions - and not just to cast a spell.

Obviously the confessions are all fake, as is Harry Potter (what, you didn't know? Awkward...), but nevertheless, having a glimpse into Hogwarts exploits is pretty darn amusing.

And, as the world hasn't ended, you've got time to read them too.