White House Death Star Petition: Galactic Empire Responds To Obama's Decision Not To Build Space Weapon

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STAR WARS
AP

Darth Vader's Galactic Empire has issued an official response after President Obama refused to build a Death Star.

The White House was forced to issue its response, after a petition to build the space station of unimaginable destructive power reached a 25,000 signature threshold.

More than 34,000 Americans used an official website to demand that Obama "secure funding and resources, and begin construction on a Death Star by 2016".

The petition said:

"By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense."

But the White House turned the idea down in an official response issued last week, partly because the estimated cost is somewhere in the region of $850 quadrillion.

The administration added that it "does not support blowing up planets", and pointed out that the Death Star's vital flaw - exploited by Luke Skywalker in the first film - made it a pointless project.

But that's not the end of the story.

On the official Star Wars website, the Galactic Empire has issued its own response to the White House's response.

The Empire declared that the "tiny, aggressive" planet Earth was not worthy of the Death Star's planet-destroying capabilities.

"It is doubtless that such a technological terror in the hands of so primitive a world would be used to upset the peace and sanctity of the citizens of the Galactic Empire," said Governor Wilhuff Tarkin of the Outer Rim Territories.

"Such destructive power can only be wielded to protect and defend by so enlightened a leader as Emperor Palpatine."

The response continued:

Representatives on behalf of the nation-state leader from the unimaginatively named planet refused to acknowledge the obvious cowardice of their choice, preferring instead to attribute the decision to fiscal responsibility. “The costs of construction they cited were ridiculously overestimated, though I suppose we must keep in mind that this miniscule planet does not have our massive means of production,” added Admiral Conan Motti of the Imperial Starfleet.

Emissaries of the Emperor said that it did not believe Obama's claim that the Death Star was fatally flawed.

"Any attacks made upon such a station — should one ever be built — would be a useless gesture,” added Motti.

Meanwhile the White House has now confirmed it has raised the threshold for petitions to gain a response to 100,000.