Nick Clegg's Backbone Found Buried In Car Park

05/02/2013 12:26 | Updated 05 February 2013
  • Andrea Mann Writer of sentences like this one. Also, occasionally, longer ones. But not this time.

A backbone buried in a car park has been confirmed as that of the Liberal Democrat leader, Nick Clegg.

The spine has been missing since May 2010, its whereabouts unknown until this week.

Historians say that the discovery of the backbone also indicates that Clegg was born with one face, as opposed to the two we are used to seeing him with.

"It's amazing to see what he looks like with a spine and just one face. It's like you could just talk to him, have a conversation with him right now," said Lib Dem party member Philippa Liberally. "Of course, he'd ignore everything you say and mutter something about having to make compromises when you're in government... But still."

"He's normally just bones, just a body," added historian Paddy Ashdown-Hill. "But now that I've seen this reconstruction, he's really come to life. I felt almost in the presence of an actual, living Liberal Democrat."

The backbone was discovered in a pub car park, where David Cameron's daughter was also found in 2012. Fortunately, she had only been missing for 15 minutes.

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