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Five Reasons Why Britain Doesn't Have Spring Break

11/07/2013 20:23 | Updated 22 May 2015

So if you're going to the cinema this weekend, there's a fair chance you'll maybe see Harmony Korine's latest Spring Breakers, in which Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, Rachel Korine and Ashley Benson go effing wild robbing places and getting high and stuff, and James Franco says "y'all" a lot.

Maybe you'll come out of the cinema like, "hey - apart from all the destruction and scariness, that looks like a laugh! Why doesn't Britain have spring break?" So here's why.

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1. British reserve. Fornicating in a public place, like the street, for example? Er, no thanks, a) you're wearing five coats and b) you'd spill your tea.

2. We can't say things (a la Hudgens) like "spring break forever bitches" without sounding completely ridiculous. Go on, try it. See? Cringe.

3. Not enough of us know the rules to - nor do we have the inclination to play - beer pong.

4. The weather. MyDaily's extensive research into spring break has revealed it's basically mandatory for girls to wear bikinis. Like all the time. Arrested and banged up? Bikini. Having dinner? Bikini. Singing a Britney Spears song ironically? Bikini. Us Brits would ruin the whole aesthetic by insisting on wearing a cardigan or duffle coat to keep out the chill.

5. It typically falls around Easter and we're too busy eating chocolate/hunting for eggs/chasing eggs down hills.

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