Stevie and Lucy move in together and have their house-warming in a pub, which - says Will Gore - is the type of moronic storyline you will only get on Made In Chelsea. Also, are we seeing new side of Spenny...?
I'm starting to look forward to my weekly appointment to observe the shining imbeciles of Chelsea with the kind of enthusiasm I'd muster ahead of a trip to get my back (and everything else) waxed. But, and this is a pretty small mercy, at least we were treated to one or two surprises during this week's helping of MiC.
Of course there was the usual parade of dullness and idiocy. Andy took a short break from staring at Louise like he's trying to cast a spell on her to help her decorate her bedroom wall. Incidentally, Rosie came in to stand next to their handy work to prove that she is still less interesting than paint drying.
Elsewhere, Mark Francis and Victoria popped up to be snide and ludicrous (I particularly enjoyed Victoria claiming, slightly unconvincingly, that "she doesn't have hairs on (her) chest"), while Jamie was playing the fool as per usual, telling Spencer that his plan to go holiday on his own was "the most stupid thing (he) had ever heard". The biscuit heir head clearly has not watched back the tape of last week's show when he claimed the J on his jumper stood for the word "genius".
Thank the Lord then for the few curveballs that were thrown our way. First there was Stevie, who so far has been about as relevant as Channel Five News, suddenly moving in with Lucy (I told you things got exciting!)
Stevie clearly fancies his new flatmate and has come up with the cunning plan of not buying a bed in the hope that he'll be invited into Lucy's for a snuggle. Unfortunately for Stevie, the speed with which a Spencer-less Lucy chatted up an identikit spiky haired berk suggests it already looks unlikely there'll be room for him under her duvet.
Lucy's new fella (who could be called Barry or Colin, sorry I wasn't paying attention) proved to be the catalyst for some much needed drama when he turned up at her and Stevie's housewarming party, which was held, with all the logic you'd expect from a show as moronic as MiC, down the local pub (Dart board, pork scratchings, fruit machine – you know the sort of place).
Whatshisname strolled in with a far too smug grin on his chops, considering how awful his Top Gun-inspired jacket was. Pretty soon Lucy was having a bitchy row with Phoebe-Lettice and Olivia because it turns out this fella is one of the Lettuce's ex-boyfriends (The phrase "sloppy seconds" was mentioned at some point).
The biggest surprise of the episode came though when Spencer stormed out of the boozer because he was jealous of Lucy and the newbie. Spenny was acting strangely this week. Earlier on he had been quite nice to Andy and he was now showing his previously well-concealed vulnerable side. Like Scrooge on Christmas morning (if Scrooge had been a sex-obsessed toff rather than a miserly business man), Spencer was suddenly a changed man. Can it last? I'm not so sure. A week is a long time in Chelsea, after all.