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Robert Pattinson's Backwards Cap: A-DORK-Able Or Cry For Help From The Depths Of His Soul?

11/07/2013 19:07 | Updated 22 May 2015

robert pattinson

Following on from our previous screenplay involving Rober Pattinson and his long-suffering imaginary publicist, here is the sequel. It involves hope, tragedy and fashion:

[THE SCENE OPENS IN THE SAME NEW YORK HOTEL ROOM AS BEFORE]

Publicist: Hi Rob - time for the TimesTalks event with David Cronenberg to promote Cosmopolis

Rob: UGH

Publicist: Oh, you've shaved - does that mean you are no longer INFINITELY SAD?

Rob: UGH

Publicist: I'll take that as a yes. Let me know when you're dressed and I'll call the cab.

Rob: I am dressed

Publicist: What?

Rob: I'm dressed. I'm wearing this to the talk.

Publicist: Even the backwards cap?

Rob: Especially the backwards cap. It is my BACKWARDS CAP OF INFINITE SADNESS.

Publicist: Please don't talk to any journalists.

[END SCENE]

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