Boyband star Jason 'J' Brown has revealed that, far from being the bully he has been portrayed as by his former bandmates in 5ive, he had his own problems, and even once tried to kill himself.
Brown refused to join his bandmates in 5ive during the first series of 'The Big Reunion', but returned to the screen for the 'Big Reunion on Tour' last night, to tell his side of the story, after they had previously accused him of bullying behaviour, particularly towards the youngest in the group, Sean Conlon.
Jason Brown ('J') revealed he'd suffered himself during his time in boyband 5ive
Brown, who said he couldn't believe what they had said about him, also admitted that he suffered himself during his time with the band, who were together from 1997 to 2001, selling 10 million records worldwide.
"I had chronic insomnia," he revealed on screen. "Then I had a full-on mental breakdown during the making of the video for 'Don't Wanna Let You Go'. I was on the edge."
REVIEW: Big Reunion On Tour - 26 Popstar Egos, Six Bands, One Bus - What Can Go Wrong?
And Brown revealed that he'd suffered previously with depression, including one evening when he walked to a petrol station to buy painkillers.
"I took a box and half, and tried to finish myself off. When I came round, the feeling was panic, and I realised the level of desperation I'd fallen into to contemplate that."
Brown, who won't be joining the rest of his former bandmates for their resumed career, has since found contentment and a new sense of calm, which he puts down to meditation, and "stopping looking out there for answers, but in here (pointing to himself)".
"I'm happier now than I've ever been," he says now. "Life is f***ing brilliant."
For confidential support, call the Samaritans in the UK on 08457 90 90 90, visit a local Samaritans branch or visit www.samaritans.org