Just when we thought wanker bankers couldn't get any further up our noses, CNBC.com's John Carney and Goldman Sachs parody Twitter account @GSElevator collaborated to create a list of unofficial rules for modern men to live by.
And while it is making us laugh (a lot) in an eye-rolling-I-know-so-many-wanker-bankers-like-this kind of way, it also left us feeling kind of... well, deflated.
The idea of dating one of these morons makes the single ladies on our team wretch - a cold reminder of how many twats are out there and how laborious it is to weed them out one-by-one.
Here are some oh-too-familiar attitudes of men in today's market, to remind you what you're up against...
- Time is too short to do your own laundry.
- When in doubt, always kiss the girl.
- Do 50 push-ups, sit-ups, and dips before you shower each morning.
- Pretty women who are unaccompanied want you to talk to them.
- Desserts are for women. Order one and pretend you don’t mind that she’s eating yours.
- Buy a tuxedo before you are thirty. Stay that size.
- One girlfriend at a time is probably enough.
- Buy expensive sunglasses. Superficial? Yes, but so are the women judging you. And it tells these women you appreciate nice things and are responsible enough not to lose them.
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