This charming Michael Gove voodoo pincushion is guaranteed to jazz up the layer of pointless crap already clogging up your life.
The hand-knitted item, which sees Gove's woollen head balanced upon a mass of tentacles is currently on sale on craft website Etsy.
Presumably crafted with the Education Secretary's assertion that England's schoolchildren should have shorter holidays and spend more time in the classroom in mind, the pitch asks: "Do you want to stick pins into Michael Gove? Well now you can!"
It adds: "Declare war on terrible politicians from the comfort of you home!"
For those of you not so hot with a needle-and-thread, the item also doubles up as a "grotesque, tentacles acupuncture practise face".
It's a decent likeness of Gove, whom, it has been pointed out, also bears a somewhat uncanny resemblance to Spongebob Squarepants.
Hat-tip to the Mirror.