The tinkling of glass, the braying of boys laughing about their romantic defeats and the deafening sound of silence with completely genuine pregnant pauses will all be heard at 10pm toight as the now BAFTA-winning 'Made in Chelsea' returns for Series 6.
And here they all are!
While not actually residents ourselves of the Beaufort House, our insider in the leafy enclaves - and yes, we do mean one of the key 'playas' - has given us three little words to whet the appetite. They are...
'SHOCK': Well, we know everyone's split up, so the shock could be that someone actually gets together and... could it possibly be?... talks about something OTHER than the state of their relationship. To everyone. And each other. Until, quelle surprise, that itself causes problems. Which then means there's something actually to talk about.
'TROUBLE': No! Don't tell me Proudlock's T-shirt company goes under. Just when the national economy was looking in a better state. But I think it's more likely to be that the gates to the park where Cheska likes to walk her dog in a handbag and Jamie and Co perform their tai chi got locked in error. Crisis. Or Jamie's omni-absent parent does actually spend the weekend in his own house, which means Jamie's party gets cancelled. Yikes.
'FUN': Well, we know they like to get away from Chelsea - "it's just nice to get away," they all say, presumably because it's such a tough life on those rough streets like Baltimore - so fun presumably involves some ridiculously elite shindig which everyone mysteriously turns up to, even though no one's talking to anyone, and they're worried they might all fall out. Which they do. But here they are anyway. Because they're worth it.
So, no. Agreed. Those exclusive hints are about as useful as Rosie Fortescue is at cheering someone up. What do we actually need to know? Well...
- We know that Spencer Matthews and Lucy Watson have split up following his (shock) cheating on her, but how long before they're at least speaking again?
- Will Andy Jordan grow a set to match his nostrils and tell Louise Thompson where to go, now we've all seen the miniature Felicity Kendal lookalike turn into the female version of Spencer and completely exploit his boy-next-door rimmed-glasses kindness?
- How long before Louise and Spencer are back together?
- Will Louise cry in this series?
- Is there any XX chromosone left in SW3 that Spencer can go up to in a bar and - WITHIN five minutes literally - ask her what she thinks of the situation between him and her at the moment? It's a strange meta-routine, but hey, it seems to have worked literally dozens of times, so if it ain't broke...
- Will Francis Boulle find true love this time around?
- Will Jamie (please) stop addressing everyone as 'Booiii'?
- Will Cheska make any new friends now Binkie's abandoned her for the 'fun' of Lucy Watson, and Ollie Locke's taken his locks permanently out of shot?
- Will the true hero of the hour, Mark Francis, finally tire of the lot of them, light a match on his tongue and send a curse in ancient Italian on all their houses along the Kings Road?
- Will Rosie Fortescue get an actual storyline?
Plus, some new faces in Chelsea. Check out these new pics below... 'Made in Chelsea' airs tonight, Monday 14 October, at 10pm on E4.
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