Episode 2, and a whole new era in 'Made in Chelsea' - by which all I actually mean is Spencer Matthews has a new squeeze to seduce, confuse and ultimately alienate.

But the human Disney animation may have met his match - at least in the power to analyse a relationship into non-existence. Because she's come in the form of blonde bombshell Stephanie Pratt, seasoned in this particular variety of TV spectacular, as a veteran of US reality show 'The Hills'. You want to ponder out loud about your relationships, Spencer? Don't bother with the psychotherapist. Stephanie can talk you under the table.

made in chelsea
Spencer and Stephanie - the new Chelsea pairing

And she thought Binkie was aggressive?? Wow. This was obviously before she laid eyes on Lucy Surname-Watson, with her evident anti-Americanism. "Who was he with?" she asked Binkie. "An American girl..." "Urgh!" Better hope she's Canadian next time.

Meanwhile, Louise was doing a very good impression of someone who didn't care whether she got back with Andy or not. Until she cried a bit. 22 minutes in. I think it must be in the contract.

All of which meant the rest were left to play musical love chairs with Fran making off with Phoebe's ex Alex, with Jamie wasp-flirting with Phoebe, and even Lucy Watson regarding Jamie (yes, really) speculatively, all of which prompted some deep soul-searching between the bromancers Spencer and Jamie about the prospect...

"I wouldn't feel pain from it," said Spencer. "Good answer," encouraged Jamie. "I'd just think you were a bit of a dickhead." Oh. And there you have it.

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