Geri Halliwell's 'Half Of Me' Video: So Bad It's Bad (VIDEO)

29/10/2013 16:14

The Artist Formerly Known As Ginger Spice is back! With a new song! And accompanying video! And here's an 18-point breakdown of what happens in it...

  • 1. Through a rousing electronic trumpet intro, the camera works its way through person...
  • ..after person...
  • ..after person. Only to reveal...
  • ...just how small Geri Halliwell really is.
  • 2. Geri sings the line "I gave you the finger" while pointing. This completely reinvents the lyric.
  • 3. Geri either can't choose between, or is terrified of, two gay men.
  • 4. To make things even more complicated, two more gay men start hitting on her. (For all its talk of 'half of me', this song video features an awful lot of threesomes.)
  • 5. Geri utters the poetic line "You fit me perfectly right".
  • 6. Geri attempts sign language.
  • 7. Geri dances with children. She is still smaller than one of them.
  • 8. Geri dances with people in giant animal suits (these account for three-quarters of the £200 total video budget).
  • 9. There is a token ukulele (this accounts for one-quarter of the total £200 video budget).
  • 10. We are shown that gay men, amazingly, come in all shapes, sizes and ages. Though not races.
  • 11. Just in case we miss its meaning, Geri mimes sex while singing "I wanna have your baby".
  • 12. Just in case we miss the meaning of 'bear', a 'bear' hits on a 'bear'.
  • 13. Geri is still dilemma'd/terrified by the two gorgeous gay men.
  • 14. Her friend, less so.
  • 15. Geri sings and dances with all the roped-in extras. These include...
  • 16. This pissed-off cowboy...
  • 17. ...and this pissed-off woman.
  • 18. Geri can't quite believe what's just happened. Neither can we.


Also on HuffPost:

30 Great Things About Growing Up In 1990s Britain
Suggest a correction