The John Lewis Christmas Advert: A Plot Point Breakdown

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A hare. A bear. A young woman singing an acoustic version of a smash hit pop song.

Yes, John Lewis's 2013 Christmas advert has arrived. Here's a breakdown of what happens in it - and below that, the full video. Watch if you dare/hare/bear/care.

SEE ALSO: The Bizarre And Scary M&S Christmas Advert

  • John Lewis tells us 'There once was an animal who had never seen Christmas'. Presumably this is a turkey.
  • The tinkly piano music starts. A hare and a bear are walking through a forest.
  • A ninja throwing star appears to fall from the sky.
  • It lands on the bear's nose. Ah, it's just a snowflake!
  • The hare looks sad. Was she hoping it was a ninja throwing star? Does she hate the bear and want him dead?
  • Suddenly, it's snowing. The hare and bear spot a magical scene in the distance.
  • It's animals doing anthropomorphic stuff around a Christmas tree! Including a hedgehog rolling an orange, guided by an owl.
  • Lily Allen sings 'I'm getting tired' and the bear yawns.
  • Lily Allen sings 'I need someone to rely on' and the hare looks reliable.
  • The hare looks sad.
  • There is a dramatic rallentando in the music.
  • The bear tries to get to sleep. He covers his eyes with his paws, clearly in need of some sort of eye mask.
  • Either days pass...
  • ...or someone is annoyingly flashing a light on and off outside his cave.
  • The John Lewis creative team mimic an iconic moment from E.T.
  • The hare arrives at the entrance to the bear's cave...
  • ...and leaves a little gift. What could it be? Droppings?
  • The next day, the hare surveys the Christmas morning scene...
  • ...where animals are opening presents and foxes are reverting to type by turning violent (towards wrapping paper).
  • The hare looks sad.
  • There is a dramatic rallentando in the music.
  • But wait! What's this?!
  • The bear sees the magical Christmas tree scene, and suddenly realises...
  • ...the true meaning of Christmas is spending loads of money on tat.
  • As Lily Allen continues to sing Keane's love song breathily and seductively, the hare looks longingly at the bear. Wait - are they a couple?!
  • Yes they are! And all their friends are happy about it.
  • Turns out the hare bought the bear an alarm clock. Why? Couldn't she see that what he clearly needs is an eye mask?
  • John Lewis tells us all to buy alarm clocks.