She used to be your one and only, but now you're feeling sad and lonely. Some best friends aren't for life, says Alexandra Jones, and here's how to work out when it's time to call it quits...
1. They answer your calls with "sorry, who's this?"
2. They try to snog your significant other. "Keep your hands off my man" is the tagline to an episode of Jeremy Kyle not a conversation you ever need to have with a mate.
3. They try to snog you. Or even worse, they try to snog you then to excuse it they tell you they thought you were someone else. Awkward to the max.
4. You tell them about a casual fling you had with the hot guy who lives downstairs, they look concerned and quote something from the Bible. Wildly different values make it pretty hard to be besties.
5. More often than not, nights out end with them passed out in the corner of the club, the contents of their bag all over the floor and a pissed off bouncer telling you to take them home, which you dutifully do. Once or twice is understandable. Once or twice a week is not. Make today the day you vow never to have to wipe their sick off your shoes again.
6. Instead of taking you home and putting you to be bed when you've had one too many, they leave you passed out in the corner of a club. What? It works both ways...
7. They bring their boyfriend along every time you hang out. He's nice enough, but you feel weird saying the word "period" in front of him. And what's the point of having a best mate if you can't tell them about your period?
8. You told them about the time you vomited on a guy in the cinema. You described the horrified look on his face and your deep, deep mortification. You thought sharing the burden would ease the embarrassment, and it did...until your bestie told loads of other people. Not cool.
9. They roll their eyes at everything you say. It's like dude, if YOU have something more interesting to say, let's hear it.
10. They dedicate Facebook statuses to addressing their "haters". In fact, if you know anyone at all who does this, cull them immediately.
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