The chap who rampaged through a Premier Inn hotel whilst masturbating with a fire extinguisher hose up his bottom has walked free from court - with an odd proviso...
Man who emerged naked from Premier Inn cupboard with fire extinguisher up his bum has curfew pushed back so he can catch the Megabus home— CourtNewsUK (@CourtNewsUK) December 3, 2013
Joseph Small, 20, admitted charges of criminal damage caused during the incident which was also peppered with urine and racial abuse.
Upon being confronted by a member of staff who happened to be Bangladeshi, Joseph Small told the man: “This country has been taken over by al-Qaeda – go back to Pakistan,"
Small also urinated on the Leicester Square hotel carpets in front of guests and shrieked: “I come from Sheffield in England,” during the incident on 31 October.
Speaking in court on Tuesday, Small said: "I really am truly ashamed of myself - I can't recall anything that happened and I'm sorry to anyone that I offended that night," reports the Independent.
"I have friends from all different ethnic backgrounds. I'm truly ashamed of myself."
Lubed Up And Locked Up
Barbara Hall was involved in a bedroom romp with her boyfriend when he asked her if she had brought PAM cooking spray, which he wanted to use as lubricant. However, Hall thought he was referring to an ex-girlfriend of his named Pam, and she allegedly flew into a jealous rage, punching him repeatedly and heaving objects at his head. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/14/barbara-hall-pam-cooking-spray-sex-assault-florida_n_1597702.html">Read the whole story here.</a>
Sucker For A Deal
Crystal Frantzen allegedly gave Gary Tipton oral sex in a gas station parking lot in order to get a "better deal" on a Cadillac he was selling. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/27/crystal-frantzen-gary-tipton-oral-sex-better-deal-car_n_2962844.html?1364393996" target="_blank">Read the whole story here.</a>
Menage a TERROR
Mindi and David Rice were engaging in a three-way with a female friend, but when MIndi noticed David was giving the friend a little too much attention, she allegedly reached for a revolver. The ensuing madness ended with gunfire, SWAT team involvement and a police tasing. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/04/mindi-david-rice-threeway-gunshots-swat-team_n_1855310.html">Read the whole story here.</a>
A Knife To Remember
<a href="http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/woman-pulls-knives-at-threesome-682451" target="_hplink">Valerie Nile was accused</a> of pulling out several knives after allegedly threatening her neighbors when the threesome she had planned with them never materialized. This incident took place January 2012 in Knox County, Maine. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/25/valerie-nile-threesome-knives_n_2552540.html">Read our story here.</a> <em><strong>CORRECTION</strong>: A previous version of this slide incorrectly states that the incident took place in Knox County, Tenn. It took place in Knox County, Maine.</em>
More Cushion For The Pushin'
Talk about a love seat. Gerard Streator was allegedly caught having sex with a couch on the side of the road. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/24/gerard-streator-sex-with-couch_n_1909699.html">Read the whole story here.</a>
Dude, Where's My Dildo?
Arteesha Donaldson became upset when she lost her "detachable latex penis," cops say, which caused an argument between Donaldson and her girlfriend. The fight allegedly ended with Donaldson chucking at ironing board. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/27/arteesha-donaldson-south-carolina-assault-sex-toy-detachable-penis_n_2200389.html">Read the whole story here.</a>
Don't Come Quickly
Racquel Gonzalez was allegedly none too pleased when her boyfriend orgasmed and she didn't. She allegedly responded by scratching and hitting him, which caused him to call 911. The cops came not a moment too soon. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/27/racquel-gonzalez-esric-davis-orgasm-assault-sex_n_2200096.html">Read the whole story here.</a>
Japanese porn star Uta Kohaku asked her fans on Twitter to donate their sperm as part of an erotic film titled "Semen Collection 2." She received over 100 bottles in less than 10 days. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/27/uta-kohaku-japanese-porn-semen_n_2366349.html">Read more about it here.</a>
Tyshinia Love Brewster was working as a prison guard when she allegedly had sex with one of the inmates at the facility and became pregnant with his baby. Brewster was charged with third-degree rape, since inmates cannot legally give consent. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/21/tyshinia-love-brewster-prison-guard-pregnant-rape_n_2733481.html?1361462977">Read the whole story here.</a>
Did Somebody Say McCreepy?
Sukhbir Singh was banned from every single McDonalds restaurant in England after being caught spying on women using toilets at the fast food establishment. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/20/sukhbir-singh-banned-from-mcdonalds_n_2165471.html">Read the whole story here.</a>
Sex, Guns, And Moving Cars
Amanda Linscott allegedly pulled a gun on a man while the two were having sex in a moving car. The man punched her in the face, but not before losing control of the vehicle and crashing into a palm tree. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/12/amanda-linscott-gun-sex-moving-car_n_1877198.html">Read the whole story here.</a>
Penis Stolen By Thieves
Fei Lin told law enforcement officials that men, believed to be jealous lovers of women Lin had bedded, broke into his home at night, cut off his penis, and stole it. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/24/fei-lin-penis_n_1699017.html">Read the whole story here.</a>
S&M aficionado Frankie Santiago was submissive -- until she found out her boyfriend was cheating on her. Santiago allegedly began sending the man a slew of menacing text messages and was charged with stalking, criminal mischief and harassment. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/16/frankie-santiago-edward-sonderling_n_1791567.html">Read the whole story here.</a>
We've All Been There
A Munich man had to flee to police when a woman he was sleeping with demanded too much sex. He told officials that he and the woman had sex several times, but when he said he was through for the night, she refused to let him leave and insisted they keep doing it. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/13/man-flees-after-too-much-sex_n_1423530.html">Read the whole story here.</a>
Dinner And A Show
Jeremie Calo and Tiffanie Lynn Barganier were apprehended while allegedly having sex on a restaurant table in full view of other patrons, including children. Calo also allegedly refused to pay his $101 bill, writing the restaurant a check that contained only the word "NO." <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/17/jeremie-calo-tiffani-lynn-barganier-restaurant-table-sex_n_1974199.html">Read the whole story here.</a>
Man Cuts Off Penis, Forgets To Bring It To Hospital
A Chinese man who cut off his own penis because of frustration at the fact that he didn't have a girlfriend was left in such incredible agony that he decided to cycle to a hospital for treatment. But when he arrived doctors told him they couldn't help him – and ordered him to cycle back home again to get the penis before he could be treated.