For a second there we thought Nicole Scherzinger had been arrested for crimes against the English language as she landed at LAX airport, but it turns out the schmazing 'X Factor' judge was just receiving a police escort through the terminal.
Did someone say diva?!
Apparently, a very giggly Scherzy insisted on having a federal officer (and an official umbrella holder) accompany her after arriving back in the US following the 'X Factor' final. But unfortunately, it made her look as if she'd had a brush with the law, especially as she carried her hands as if they were in a pair of cuffs.
Some poor so-and-so was also left to deal with the hordes of Nicole's luggage, as she trailed home three months worth of clothes in over eight suitcases.
Before heading home, Nicole tweeted: "Thank u so much to all the #Schamazing staff @parkplazahotels #Westminster Bridge for making my stay so wonderful Xo."
She also added: "Thank you #London for being #SchamazeBalls! I will miss u but will be back soon. #MerryChristmas #Godbless."
Miss you already, Nic!
Not only could Nicole not find the right camera to look down when Dermot caught her off guard to introduce her next act one week, she then proceeded to introduce James Arthur's name instead of Rylan Clark's. Whoops! Bonkers-o-metre rating: 5/5
Nope, us neither. She lost us at full fat milk. Bonkers-o-metre rating: 5/5
There was only ever going to be one judge who actually got up on the desk following Rylan's Spice Girls medley in week six, and it sure as heck wasn't going to be Borelow. After dismounting the table, she exclaimed: "That was a Rylan spice explosion all up in this place because you didn't just spread love, you sprayed it all over that stage honey. Girl power." Bonkers-o-metre rating: 4/5
Nicole just loves to talk about balls, especially Jahmene's which she did live on air during the first live show. When Dermot questioned her, she cheekily replied, "it takes a lot of guts and balls to survive in this business and you obviously have big balls yourself, right?" Cheeky. Bonkers-o-metre rating: 3/5
And Nicole committed her love of balls to song - a duet with James Arthur entitled 'Vaginas And Big Hairy Balls'. You certainly wouldn't have got Cheryl or Dannii doing that. Bonkers-o-metre rating: 5/5
We now snap our fingers twice at every word we say. It can get surprisingly annoying after a while, so we've been told.... Bonkers-o-metre rating: 5/5
Nicole got a little carried away after Rylan's performance of Mousse T's 'Horny', and decided to sing her own version to GB. Bonkers-o-metre rating: 4/5
Nicole proved she can always be relied upon to put the effort in at a fancy dress party when she revisited her Pussycat Dolls past in Rylan' birthday bash dressed in a PVC basque and fishnets. Bonkers-o-metre rating: 3/5
Nicole Scherzinger - 'X Factor' judge by night, Asda worker by day *taps back pocket*. She was transformed into an shop worker in tribute to her contestant Jahmene Douglas, who used to work for the grocery giant before entering 'The X Factor'. At least she's got something to fall back on if Simon Cowell ever axes her again. Bonkers-o-metre rating: 3/5
Never let Nicole make you a dessert is the lesson we learnt from this. Bonkers-o-metre rating: 3/5
We all let out a little *tee hee* when Nicole didn't realise that spunky meant something entirely different over this side of the Atlantic as she described Lucy Spraggan's first live show performance as 'spunky, honest and witty'. Bonkers-o-metre rating: 3/5
We were totes surprised that Nicole didn't opt for a vajazzle when she visited Amy Childs' salon with Rylan Clark. Bonkers-o-metre rating: 1/5
*snaps fingers twice*, OBVZ Bonkers-o-metre rating: 3/5
Always calm in a crisis, Nicole's response to a wannabe kicking off big stylee at this year's auditions was "no, baby, no! Inappropriate!". Bonkers-o-metre rating: 2/5
Nicole was public enemy number one when she brought Rylan Clark through to the live shows. But if she hadn't we wouldn't have had this piece of TV gold in our lives. So thank you, Nic. Bonkers-o-metre rating: 1/5 - Rylan totally eclipsed her.
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