The British public has been accused of 'cosying up to' the drinks industry in a damning report by medical experts.
They found that the average Briton had at least 130 meetings with alcohol lobbyists - or 'bar staff' - over the festive period.
The result, says the investigation, is that Britons changed their plans to care about minimum alcohol pricing because "they'll pay anything to get drunk - even £4 a pint, in London."
"They are dancing to the tune of the drinks industry," one senior doctor told HuffPost UK Comedy. "And that tune is 'Get Lucky' by Daft Punk."
- A Guide To English Terms For EU Migrant Workers
- WATCH: David Cameron's New Year Message
- Nick Griffin Declared Morally Bankrupt
- New Migrants Immediately Leave UK Due To High Rail Prices
- 2013: The Year In Spoof News Stories
- Disney Plans 'Saving Mr Hanks' Movie Sequel
- WATCH: A Coalition Christmas Poem
- LOOK: George Osborne's Christmas Carol
- Person Who Was Favourite To Win Something Wins That Thing
- TIME Regrets Choosing Pope As Person Of The Year
- PICTURE: Mandela Selfie Shocks The World
- Ukip Councillors 'Should Be Sent Back To Where They Came From'
- Anger At MPs Rises By 11%
- Government Announces Plans To Reduce Life Expectancy To 70