The world has been in no way rocked by allegations that a Frenchman may have had an affair.

Most people in France shrugged their shoulders and said "Bof" - while international watchers expressed absolutely no surprise at the news that a Frenchman might also be a lothario.

Even those who were slightly taken aback due to the Frenchman's lack of good looks immediately realised that his combination of power and being French might make the scenario possible.

Indeed, say insiders, the only person thought to have been shocked by the news is the partner of the Frenchman. She is now in hospital suffering from naïvety.


The Frenchman may have impressed women with the size of his deficit


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    Marine conservationist, explorer, Steve Zissou template.

  • Edith Piaf

    The singing sparrow.

  • Simone de Beauvoir

    Writer, philosopher, feminist pioneer.

  • Jacques Derrida

    The father of deconstruction.

  • François Truffaut

    New Wave filmmaker, actor and <a href="" target="_blank">alien-botherer</a>.

  • Jeanne Moreau

    Actress, director, star of 'Jules Et Jim'.

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    Hollywood's favourite Frenchman.

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    The ultimate designer <em>moderne</em>.

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    Actress, model, animal-lover.

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    New Wave filmmaker, epic glasses-wearer.

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    Composer, electronic instrumentalist, <em>son et lumière</em> live show specialist.

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    Actress, model, the French star of 'The English Patient'.

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    Footballer, actor, philosopher.

  • MIchel Roux, Jr

    Anglo-French masterchef.

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    Scandalous, brilliant novelist.

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    The male Brigitte Bardot.

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    Record-holder for the most César awards for Best Actress.

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    Prolific actor, fine moustache-wearer.

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    Painter, illustrator, short man.

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    Novelist, essayist and <a href="" target="_blank">the Tories' worst nightmare</a>.

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    Teacher, French Resistance member, human rights campaigner.

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    Transatlantic director, screenwriter and producer.

  • Yves Saint Laurent

    Fashion designer and <em>prêt-à-porter</em> pioneer.

  • Yves Montand

    Actor, singer, quintessential Frenchman.

  • Henri Cartier-Bresson

    The father of modern photojournalism.

  • Berthe Morisot

    Impressionist painter who wasn't a man.

  • Joséphine de La Baume

    Actress, model, half of Singtank.

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    Electronic pop duo and darlings of the Nineties.

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    Writer, filmmaker, author of 'L'Amant'.

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    Singer-songwriter, cigarette-smoker, father of...

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    Anglo-French actress and singer.

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    The French Tom Jones.

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    Actor, Heartbreaker, Mr Populaire. <a href="" target="_blank">And we mean those things literally.</a>

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    Actress, director, Ethan Hawke's dream woman.

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    Novelist also known as Amantine Lucile Dupin.

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    Poet, novelist, filmmaker, inspiration for the Cocteau Twins' name.

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    Director, screenwriter, <em>cinéma du look</em> filmmaker.

  • Vanessa Paradis

    Actress, model, singer of <em>Joe Le Taxi</em>.

  • Josephine Baker

    American-born, French-naturalised dancer, singer, actress, muse, Civil Rights activist and helper of the French Resistance.

  • Claude Debussy

    Composer, musical pioneer.

  • Catherine Deneuve

    Actress, timeless beauty, star of more than 100 films.

  • Jean-Paul Gaultier

    Fashion designer, Madonna bustier-creator.

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    Existentialist philosopher and Nobel Prize refuser.

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    Writer, bohemian, erotic novelist.

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    New Wave film star.

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    Director, actor, screenwriter, love interest to...

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    'Amélie' star turned darling of every living cinema-goer.

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    Fashion designer, style innovator and creator of the brand Chanel.

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    Writer, philosopher, purveyor of existential angst.

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    Actor, Hollywood star, ruthless dance teacher (in 'Black Swan', at least).