We didn't believe Upworthy did books. Until we saw these...

(Created for HuffPost UK Comedy by the mind-blowing David Schneider and David Beresford.)

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  • "To the Lighthouse" by Virginia Woolf

    Lily finishes her painting (it took her TEN. YEARS.), and feels pretty good about it. Mr. Ramsay finally takes his kids to the lighthouse, which isn't <em>really</em> a spoiler because it's inferred in the title. This might be classified as a "literary" plot, because no one gets married and no one dies, but there is a lot of contemplation about (SPOILER!) the futility of existence.

  • "Ulysses" by James Joyce

    Molly Bloom thinks eight really long, complicated sentences as she lies in bed next to her husband. She thinks she might start her period, confirming (SPOILER!) that she has not become pregnant from a man who is not her husband.

  • "The Old Man and the Sea" by Ernest Hemingway

    Santiago catches a marlin! FINALLY! But then it's devoured by sharks. Still, some fisherman see the 18-foot skeleton, so there's a chance that they may accept him even though he's an outsider and (SPOILER!) a dismally inept fisherman.

  • "Uncle Tom's Cabin" by Harriet Beecher Stowe

    St. Clare dies before he can grant Tom his freedom, and his terrible wife sells Tom to an even more terrible new owner, who orders to have him killed because he won't rat out his friends, who escaped to freedom. This would obviously be classified as an unhappy ending, but (SPOILER!) the book still went on to become the best-selling novel of the 19th century.

  • "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley

    (SPOILER!) John the Savage isn't really a savage. He's actually the most moral person in the book, and reads a ton of Shakespeare, so, fittingly, he hangs himself when he can't handle his new peer's callousness and rejection of romantic love.

  • "The Pearl" by John Steinbeck

    The pearl mentioned in the title is basically a predecessor to Tolkien's ring, because it is highly coveted and causes (SPOILER!) greed and destruction. Realizing this, a devastated Kino throws "the pearl of the world" back into the ocean, and, consequently, hipsters everywhere decided to name their bands/debut albums "the pearl of the world."

  • "Moby-Dick" by Herman Melville

    Moby-Dick isn't full of wrath, but is actually just really apathetic and powerful. Conversely, Ahab is possessed by some sort of monomania and (SPOILER!) is ultimately dragged to the depths of the ocean along with the rest of his crew except Ishmael.

  • "The Great Gatsby: by F. Scott Fitzgerald

    Have you ever watched The Real Housewives of New York City? No? Okay, never mind. (SPOILER) There are big parties and lots of affairs and eventually a fatal car accident (during which Myrtle is hit) that Gatsby takes the blame for, so Wilson (Myrtle's husband) kills him, and then kills himself.

  • "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" by J.K. Rowling

    Dumbledore dies.