Meanwhile, in Kermit, West Virginia (no really, there's a place in America called Kermit): this just took place.
'This' being a Pizza Hut District Manager taking a leak in his branch - but not in the toilet. No, siree. He used the sink where they wash the kitchen utensils. Delightful!
"First of all, we are embarrassed by the actions of this individual. Pizza Hut has zero tolerance for violations of our operating standards, and the local owner of the restaurant took immediate action and terminated the employee involved.
"While the isolated incident occurred during non-business hours and did not involve any food tampering, we follow strict safety and handling procedures and the restaurant has since been closed. We apologise to our customers of Kermit, West Virginia and those in our system who have been let down by this situation."
Apology accepted, Pizza Hut. After all, you did invent the stuffed crust.