Toni Kroos has "told pals" on the eve of Bayern Munich's Champions League quarter-final second leg with Manchester United he wants to join, well, Manchester United.
The timing is as inconvenient for Bayern as it is for the (banned) newspaper that ran the Kroos story this Tuesday morning. You would have to have been living on Mars the past four months not to know United want Kroos, and the German seems quite receptive to joining the Old Trafford club.
Bayern stressed last week the German midfielder, who will start against United again on Wednesday night, will not leave the club this summer, irrespective of his contract situation. Kroos' deal runs out in 2015.
"Pals, I'm joining United. You heard it here first."
Real Madrid are also ostensibly interested in Kroos. The Spaniards could offer United the stiffest competition for their transfer targets, given their long-standing interest in Borussia Dortmund midfielder İlkay Gündoğan, whom United held talks with earlier this year.
It is casually added United held further discussions over the prospective signing of Sporting Lisbon defensive midfielder William Carvalho over the weekend.
Toni Kroos
Marco Verrati is so casually linked with Arsenal this morning there is no byline on the original story, while another newspaper has picked up the rumour and billed the Italian as a "striker". Verrati is a midfielder.
The 21-year-old is an integral part of Paris Saint-Germain's Champions League challenge and it is difficult to even envisage him considering a move to north London. Earlier this season, Verrati extended his PSG contract until 2018.
Arsenal, however, do need some midfielders, should their frugal manager belatedly decide to "spend some fucking money", as thousands of Gooners have so delicately put it.
Verrati: Skilful and tough, just what Arsenal need. But they won't get him
Nineteen-year-old Iranian footballer Sardar Azmoun should get Arsenal fans excited though, right? The Gunners face competition from AC Milan for the striker's signature, write the Star.
There could be a French exodus on the Tyne this summer. The Sun predict Hatem ben Arfa, Gabriel Obertan and Sylvain Marveaux will all leave Newcastle this summer, following Yohan Cabaye, who transferred to PSG in January.
And Swansea will welcome back Ki Sung-Yueng from his loan stint at Sunderland if Garry Monk remains in charge next season, say the South Wales Evening Post.