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Buying smartphones has never been more complicated. There are so many good choices, with so many interesting features, that it can be hard to decide which one to get.
It doesn't help that several of them - the S5, the 5S and the Nexus 5 - virtually have the same name, let alone the same feature set.
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If only there was some kind of semi-humorous, vaguely sarcastic quiz designed to help you out of your jam and decide once and for all which one to buy?
Well, you're in luck. There is such a quiz. And you've found it.
Answer the following questions and your problems will be solved.
But if you're still not sure, we've put our collection of the best smartphones around in a slideshow after the quiz anyway. No one's perfect you see.