LIFESTYLE

Spornosexuals Are The New Generation Of Men: Obsessed With Selfies, Porn And Sport

12/06/2014 11:06 BST | Updated 12/06/2014 22:59 BST

Metrosexuals tend to have a grooming kit bigger their manbag, while cavemen are all about beef, doing things with their hands and grunting.

One more to add to the pigeon-hole (because of course, why shouldn't we flagrantly stereotype all men) is the spornosexual.

Although it sounds like something that emerged from the loins of a randy alien, a spornosexual is obsessed with taking selfies (often in the bathroom, topless), likes a good porn marathon and could talk endlessly about sport.

Hey, we didn't make it up - according to The Telegraph, it's a new trend.

six pack

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The spornosexual is a result of footballers spending a lot of time on themselves to look good - highly stylised, waxed and good hair. This has also taken on a sexual component due to all the scandals that take place when you have competitive, good-looking men with lots of money, as well as the ubiquity of internet porn.

The man who coined the term is also the one who predicted the rise of the metrosexual 20 years ago - Mark Simpson.

Writing for The Telegraph, he says: "This uptake by men of products, practises and pleasures previously ring-fenced for women and gay men is so normal now – even if we still need to be reassured with the word "man" or "guy" emblazoned on the packaging, like a phallic pacifier.

"But unlike Beckham's metrosexual ads of old, in which his attributes were possibly artificially enhanced, today’s spornosexuals have photoshopped themselves in real life. Think Towie's Dan Osborne in a pair of glittery Speedos (and then have a lie down.)"

david beckham hm

The good thing about spornosexuality is that it has destigmatised homosexuality, in the sense that the old boundaries no longer really apply.

Our advice lads? Porn, sports and selfies are never going to do it for the ladies, but then again, we did subject you to harem pants and skirts over trousers.