Husband Compiled The Excuses His Wife Gave Him For Not Having Sex Into A Spreadsheet, She Posts It Online

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UNHAPPY SEX
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Excel spreadsheets do a fine job of organising your household budget but not, perhaps, to list the date, time and reasons for why your spouse won't have sex with you.

That's just what one sexually-frustrated man did, and then emailed the spreadsheet to his wife before embarking on a 10-day business trip.

Shocked by his actions, she tried to contact him but found he had cut contact with her. Incensed, she posted the spreadsheet on Reddit, which went viral on the internet promoting for and against reactions.

On the site, she wrote: "Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone.

"He's never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it's a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won't miss me for the 10 days I'm gone.

"Attached is a spreadsheet of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my "excuses", using verbatim quotes of why I didn't feel like having sex at that very moment."

Among the excuses included watching a Friends re-run (hey, who hasn't been there) and 'I feel gross'.

While the user throwwwwaway29 wrote in response to some of the comments: "Our sex life HAS tapered in the last few months, but isn't that allowed? We are adults leading busy, stressful lives. I cook for him, I do his laundry, I keep our house clean and tidy. It's not like our sex life was going to be this way FOREVER, it was a temporary slow-down due to extenuating circumstances."

However while some users were sympathetic - one wrote: "Your husband's communication style is absolutely absurd", another wrote: "If you want to have intimacy you need to make an effort to prioritise it. Owning a house is work. There won't be a time when the lawn doesn't need mowing or the bathroom cleaning or the dishes or laundry or a light fixture or washing machine needs replacement. And once you have kids you'll have even less down time."

Some were less subtle: "If someone had constructed a spreadsheet of reasons why I wouldn't have sex with them, it would make me instantly want to pounce on their cock and worship them like the god of sex they clearly are. No wait - it would make me feel nauseous and like I didn't want them anywhere near me. That's beyond pathetic."

What are your thoughts? Tell us in the comments below...

(H/T: Telegraph)

SEE ALSO:

I Don't Need a Husband... But Lord, Do I Want One

How Men Fake Orgasms (And Get Away With It)

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